


Pretty Boy (Lonely Boy)

by koschei_the_deathless



Category: ATEEZ (Band)
Genre: Also wooyoung is kind of an asshole for most of it oops, Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - High School, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Enemies to Lovers, Fluff and Angst, Hongjoong and Wooyoung are jocks, How Do I Tag, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Kim Hongjoong is Whipped, M/M, Seonghwa is a good student, Tutoring, Yeosang and San are cheerleaders, at least those notes went to some use, extensive descriptions of chemistry, he’ll get redemption, i love him I swear, idk why, seonghwa has glasses in this
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-24
Updated: 2020-03-16
Packaged: 2021-02-27 20:35:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 15
Words: 24,847
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22881844
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/koschei_the_deathless/pseuds/koschei_the_deathless
Summary: Park Seonghwa has been dealing with Kim Hongjoong’s bullshit since the beginning of freshman year. He thought he could deal with it, but he never expected to get so close to him. Maybe they could be friends if they hadn’t started on the wrong foot. Maybe more than friends?For better or worse, they get a second chance when his teacher asks him to help Hongjoong with chemistry.‘ “You have a nice smile, but you never use it.”“Stop flirting with me. Do your chemistry.”“I think we have chemistry.”“Be quiet,” Seonghwa says, blushing a little.If Hongjoong notices, he doesn’t say anything. ‘(I’m bad at summaries idk)
Relationships: Jeong Yunho/Song Mingi, Jung Wooyoung/Kang Yeosang, Kim Hongjoong/Park Seonghwa, Minor or Background Relationship(s), past woosan
Comments: 34
Kudos: 292





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hello wonderful readers! I hope you find some entertainment from this story.  
> Disclaimer: this isn’t beta read so there’s probably hella typos  
> TW: child abuse, some depiction of violence but not really enough to need to put a warning on it, some bullying happens, i will add warnings for each chapter  
> Anyway, enjoy <3

Park Seonghwa walks to his locker, already knowing what he’ll find. He walks up to the metal door, starting at the words painted there.  
Fucking kill yourself, pretty boy.  
He just sighs. He’s used to it by now. He doesn’t care who wrote it. He has an idea. He opens the door, gets what he needs, shoves in the stuff he doesn’t, then slams it back shut.  
He hears taunts thrown at him as he walks to his classroom.  
“How’s it going, pretty boy?”  
“Have you seen your locker?”  
They never acknowledge that he has a name. Its always ‘pretty boy’. It would almost sound like a compliment, but he knows it’s not. They don’t call him pretty to boost his self esteem, they say it to rub in that he’ll never be one of them.

… 

He sits after school in the school library, studying for a test tomorrow, when he hears someone sit down beside him.  
“How’s it going, pretty boy?”  
Seonghwa ignores him, working on a math problem before a hand rips the paper away. “Ignoring me?”  
“Don’t you have sports practice or something?”  
“It was cancelled because of the rain. I thought I’d come visit you. Didn’t want you to be lonely.”  
“If you didn’t want want me to be lonely, you wouldn’t have written ‘fucking kill yourself, pretty boy’ on my locker this morning,” Seonghwa tells the other boy, angrily snatching the paper back and adjusting his glasses.  
The boy shakes his head. “I didn’t write that, I promise.”  
“And what is your promise worth? Less than dirt.”  
“You better watch your pretty little mouth. It’s going to get you into trouble someday,” he says, tone turning deadly serious.  
“Why do you even hate me so much? I’m curious. Did I do something? Or are you just jumping on the bandwagon? You’re the one who came up with ‘pretty boy’ though. Why did you do it?”  
“Well... Wooypung doesn’t like you, and he’s my best friend. To be honest, Im not exactly sure why he doesn’t like you, but it’s hard to like someone your friend hates, you know?”  
“In case you haven’t noticed, I don’t have friends.”  
“Yes you do.”  
Seonghwa shakes his head. “Thanks to you and Wooyoung.”  
“Oh. Sorry.”  
“You’re not, though. I walk down the hall and no one even knows my name. It’s just ‘pretty boy’, ‘pretty boy’, ‘pretty boy’.”  
“I wasn’t trying to be mean when I called you ‘pretty boy’. I just said it because you’re pretty and you’re a boy, and I didn’t know your name. It wasn’t an insult.”  
“Well it sure feels like an insult when I walk into class and hear you, the great Kim Hongjoong who everybody fucking loves talking to Jung Wooyoung and Choi San saying ‘pretty boy’s a whore’.”  
“I didn’t-“  
“You did. And you say I’m a whore, but I’m practically the only person in the school that hasn’t slept with you, so who’s the whore now?”  
Hongjoong grabs his hand. “I told you to watch your mouth. And I bet you wish I would sleep with you. Sorry my standards aren’t that low.”  
“Whatever helps you sleep at night.” He gets up and walks out.  
“Pretty boy! Don’t walk away from me!”  
“If you want me to listen to you, maybe call me by my name.”  
“Seonghwa. That’s it, isn’t it?”  
Seonghwa says nothing, only continues walking. He didn’t actually expect Hongjoong to know.  
“Wait! Seonghwa!”  
Seonghwa only walks faster. He feels Hongjoong grab his backpack, roughly turning him around.  
“Seonghwa. I didn’t come in here just to chat. I have to ask you something.”  
Seonghwa shakes his head. “Don’t touch me. Just go away.”  
“Seong-“  
Seonghwa tears himself free. “I said go away!” Seonghwa knows he’s crying, so he turns and walks away as fast as he can, taking off his glasses and wiping his eyes. He gets home, going to his room to study. His grades are his only chance to get out of this hell hole. 

… 

He changes out of his uniform later, deciding to go out to eat. He doesn’t have many clothes so he just throws on a pair of ripped jeans and a sweatshirt that he bought three sizes too big so he wouldn’t have to worry about growing out of it. He goes into the restaurant. It’s fast food, so it’s cheap.  
“Well, well, if it isn’t pretty boy.”  
Seonghwa turns around. “Wooyoung, I’m not in the mood.”  
Wooyoung looks him up and down. “Someone looks nice. You aren’t called pretty boy for nothing.” He reaches down, slides his finger into one of the rips on Seonghwa's thigh.  
Seonghwa jerks away. “Don’t touch me.”  
“You know, Hongjoong told me you cried in front of him. Must have been humiliating. I can't believe you're older than me. Why have I never seen you cry? What even happened? He wouldn’t tell me. I saw him and he seemed upset, so I asked him what was wrong, and he just said, ‘I made seonghwa cry’, and I was like, ‘who the fuck is Seonghwa’, and then I realized it was you. I think he feels bad. He’s too soft.” He smirks. “I think Hongjoong wants you in bed. That’s why he’s so nice to you.”  
“He’s not nice to me,” Seonghwa points out. “And even if he did want to sleep with me, which he doesn’t, I would rather die before I got into bed with him.  
“Oh, come on. You’re such a little slut, I know you want him too.”  
“Um, no, actually. I just waned to get some fucking food.” He walks out the door, leaning against the wall outside. He feels like crying. For some reason, his mind wanders to Hongjoong. He pushes the thought away. He wishes desperately to run away from everything, but he doesn’t have anywhere to go.


	2. Chapter 2

Seonghwa goes to school the next day in a bad mood. His dad had woken up with a terrible hangover, and he’d had to deal with that, so he’s not thrilled when his AP chemistry teacher asks him to stay after school. He can only say yes, so he goes to his next class and comes back at the end of the school day, going into the classroom. He scowls when he sees Hongjoong there, but says nothing.

“Seonghwa,” his teacher starts. “You’re my best student. You always have been. Hongjoong is... let’s just say he’s not. He’s going to fail this class, but, if he does, he wont be allowed to play sports, so I want you to tutor him. He tells me that you don’t have the best relationship, so I’ll understand if you say no, but, if you do, I’ll give you extra credit, not that you need it.”

Seonghwa looks from his teacher to Hongjoong. He pushes his glasses up his nose. “Sure,” he says reluctantly, turning around and walking out the door.

Hongjoong runs after him. “Seonghwa, wait!” He catches Seonghwa's arm. “I thought you would say no.”

“Why would I say no to extra credit?”

“Because you would have to be with me.”

“You can’t be mean to me when you want something from me,” Seonghwa says. “Besides, we can’t have the star sports player falling off all the teams, can we? How many sports do you play, anyway?”

“Only two.”

“See you later, Hongjoong.”

“Wait, can I like... have your phone number? To schedule, and stuff?”

“Why can’t we just do it through the teacher?”

“Because it’s inconvenient.”

Seonghwa gulps, holding out his hand for Hongjoong's phone. He types in his phone number, labeling it ‘pretty boy’. “There you go. If you give it to Wooyoung or San or anyone else, I’ll murder you, got it?”

“Yeah, okay. Good for you, by the way.”

“What’s good for me?”

“Being her top student and all that. I guess all the studying you do isn’t just for show.” He laughs. “See you later, Hwa. Can I call you that? Thanks.”

“No, you can not call me ‘Hwa’. ‘Pretty boy’ was better.”

“Too late. Hwa. I’m changing your contact name.”

“Don’t.”

“Too late,” he repeats. “It’s cute. You’re cute. It suits you.”

Seonghwa rolls his eyes to hide his embarrassment and walks away. He goes back to his apartment building, and into his room. His dad isn’t home yet, so, instead of going to his room, he drops his stuff off and goes to the balcony, opening the door so the outside air can hit him. His phone beeps, displaying a text that can only be from Hongjoong.

Hongjoong: Hi Hwa <3 xoxo

Love you 

Hongjoong: I hope you’re thinking about me (´ε｀ )

Seonghwa wants to throw his phone on the ground.

Seonghwa: Stop that now or else I’ll let you fail that class.

Hongjoong: would I still get to spend time with you?

Seonghwa groans in exasperation. “I don’t think I can do this,” he murmurs to himself.

He’s tempted to block the number, but he doesn’t.

Seonghwa: I didn’t give you my phone number so we could chat. This is for business purposes only

Hongjoong: ha business

Seonghwa: UGHH

Hongjoong: sorry 

Hongjoong: when are you free?

Seonghwa: as long as you leave me time to study for myself, whenever

Seonghwa: I think your schedule is going to be the bigger problem

Hongjoong: I’m always free after 5 and fridays whenever

Seonghwa: I’m always in the library until about 6 just come find me

Hongjoong: ok plan for Monday and Friday though?

Seonghwa: sure

Hongjoong: yay it’s a date (´ε｀ )

Hongjoong: I have a date with Hwa (*^ω^*) the prettiest boy

Seonghwa shoves his phone into his pocket, flustered. Friday is tomorrow, but he doesn’t know if he’s ready for this. He goes to his room and sits on his bed, taking out his homework and starting to do it. His phone keeps buzzing, and he reaches over to turn it off.

Hongjoong : Hwa's not denying it

Hongjoong : Hwa loves me

Seonghwa: you don’t date. You fuck them and leave them. Good for me I’m not interested in that. Especially not with you 

Hongjoong : Why not?? (༎ຶོд༎ຶོ`)

Hongjoong : I’d use protection for you

Seonghwa blocks him. When Seonghwa was younger, he was oblivious to this kind of teasing. The kind where someone pretends to be nice, but they’re really just mocking him. Hongjoong does it a lot, he notices. But he knows now. He knows it when he sees it. He knows that Kim Hongjoong would never be nice to him anyway. He knew since the second day of school when Wooyoung stole Seonghwa's book and ripped all the pages out and Hongjoong and San just stood there and watched. 

… 

He goes to the library after school the next day, sitting down at a table and taking out and starting on his own homework while he waits. 

Hongjoong sits down beside him a couple minutes later. 

“Why did you block me?” He sounds genuinely upset. 

“I told you it was for work purposes only. You abused your privilege. You have to earn it back. Anyway what are you learning?”

Hongjoong takes out a crumpled worksheet, handing it to Seonghwa. 

“Oh, oxidation numbers. This shouldn’t be too hard.” He tears out a piece of binder paper to write down and example. “Can you name this compound to start?”

“Iron... tri... chlorate.”

Seonghwa shakes his head, dark bangs falling into his eyes. “You don’t put prefixes in front of polyatomic ions. And it’s chlorite. Now watch.”

He’s writing in a sparkly purple ballpoint pen. It suits him, Hongjoong thinks. Hongjoong watches Seonghwa write, watches his slim, elegant fingers grip the pen, writing down letters and numbers. He likes the look in Seonghwa's eyes when he concentrates, likes the way his bangs fall in his face, and he keeps having to push them out of the way. 

“Okay,” Seonghwa says. “Got it?”

Hongjoong blinks. “What?”

Seonghwa rolls his eyes. “You have to pay attention! I said the charge of chrorite is 1-, so the two elements inside have to equal that. Oxygen is always 2-. Thats important. Repeat.”

“Oxygen is always 2-.”

“Yes. Now how many oxygens do you have?”

“Six.”

“No. Ignore everything on the outside of the parentheses, and, now, how many atoms do you have?”

“Two.”

“And each one is?”

“2-“

“Yes, so all of them together?”

“12-?”

“No! One is 2- but how many are there?”

“Six.”

“No! There are 2! We just went over this. Pay attention.”

It’s hard when you’re so beautiful, Hongjoong wants to say, but he doesn’t. “So it’s 4-,” he says instead. The hesitant smile that graces Seonghwa's lips makes his heart flutter a little. 

“Yes! You’re getting it. So how many chlorine?”

“One.”

“And the charge on chlorite is 1-, so what has to be the charge of all the chlorine together?”

“1+”

Seonghwa's small smile disappears. “How did you come up with that? What’s the charge of all the oxygen?”

“2-“

“It’s 2- for one atom, but you have two atoms.”

“4-“

“So for a change of -1?”

“3+”

“Yeah. Is it making a little sense?”

“Yeah.”

“Good. How many chlorite ions do you have?”

“Three.”

“And each is charged?”

“-1”

“So all together?”

“3-“

“So iron must be?”

“3+”

“There, you did it. Once you get the hang of it, it’s actually quite easy. Try the rest. Ask me if you have any questions.”

“What skincare products do you use?” Hongjoong asks. Seonghwa has perfect skin, no blemishes, no pimples, and a smooth, pale complexion. 

Seonghwa blushes, and he looks so pretty, it makes Hongjoong want to grin. “I meant about the assignment,” Seonghwa says, struggling to regain composure . “Do you want me to talk you through another one?”

“Yes, please.”

Seonghwa looks at the first problem on the worksheet. “This one is probably easier. Name it for me.”

“Hydrogen sulfite.”

“Hydrogen sulfate, actually, but you’ll get there. Anyway, the minus sign on the end is the charge of the entire compound, okay?”

“Yeah.”

“And Oxygen is always...?”

“2-“

“And how many do you have?”

“Four.”

“So that’s?” Seonghwa questions, twirling his pen between his beautiful fingers.

“8-.”

“Yeah! And Hydrogen is always 1+. Repeat.”

“Hydrogen is always 1+.”

“And how many Hydrogen?”

“One.”

“Good. Now, combine those charges.”

“7-.”

“So for an overall charge of 1-, sulfur should be?”

“6+.”

“Yeah. See? It’s not that hard.”

“Maybe you’re just a good teacher.”

Seonghwa scoffs, embarrassed. “Try the next one by yourself.”

“Hwa,” Hongjoong starts. “I’m sorry if I made you uncomfortable yesterday. I was only joking, but I won't do it again, okay, so please don’t block me.”

“You’re being weirdly nice, and I can't figure out why.”

“You’re going out of your way to help me.” 

“Fine, I’ll unblock you, but no more sex jokes, okay?”

“Okay. I didn’t realize they would make you upset. I’m really sorry.”

His sincerity is unnerving. “It’s okay,” Seonghwa says after a moment. “Just do the problem.”


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had so much time to write today (i should probably spread out these posts but I’m too proud of myself) anyway Yeosang (aka seonghwa protection squad) shows up in this chapter yay! He’s kind of the best character tbh

That continues for a couple weeks, and Seonghwa somehow finds himself being drawn to Hongjoong, drawn to his cheeky grins and the way he looks when he’s actually concentrating and the excited look on his face when he gets a problem right. He likes when Hongjoong comes straight from sports practice on mondays, and he’s just showered, and his hair is wet and he’s out of breath. 

Sometimes he comes to the library on other days too, if he has questions about something or just wants to talk and make sure Seonghwa is okay. 

… 

“Hwa?” he says one monday. “What is it like to wear glasses?”

Seonghwa blinks. “When you’re used to them, you don’t even notice that they’re there.”

Hongjoong reaches up a hand and slowly slides Seonghwa's glasses off his face. “You have pretty eyes.” He leans in.

Seonghwa feels his face heat up. “Are you trying to flirt with me?”

“No. Did you want me to be?”

“Gross. Do your homework.” He snatches his glasses back and taps the paper with his pen. “Remember, if it’s not aqueous, it won’t split apart.”

Hongjoong looks at the paper. “Hey, Hwa?”

“What?” Seonghwa leans over to look at the paper. 

“Do you have 11 protons? Because you’re sodium fine.”

Seonghwa blinks. “Bye.” He grabs his backpack. 

“Hwa, wait. I’m sorry! I had to! But actually, how do I tell if something is aqueous or not?”

“It has the aq in parenthases.”

“And how do I figure out the products?”

Seonghwa sighs and sits down. “You have to figure out what kind of reaction it is first. This one has two compounds, so it’s going to be a double replacement. You switch these two.” He points to the paper with his pen. “Got it?”

“Kind of.”

“Just try it.”

Hongjoong squints at the paper, scribbling down the answer. “Like this?”

“Yeah,” Seonghwa smiles. “That’s it. Now balance it.”

“You have a nice smile, but you never use it.”

“Stop flirting with me. Do your chemistry.”

“I think we have chemistry.”

“Be quiet,” Seonghwa says, blushing a little. 

If Hongjoong notices, he doesn’t say anything. 

… 

That friday, They’re sitting in the library again. 

“Hwa, can we take a break?" Hongjoong asks. "My mind just isn’t working right now.”

“Fine, because you’ve been diligent about it until now.” 

“Thanks. I’m going to go to the vending machine. Do you want something?”

“I’m okay, thanks,” Seonghwa says. He reaches into his backpack and takes out his own homework, hoping to do at least half before he starts with Hongjoong again. 

Hongjoong comes back a couple minutes later. “You said you didn’t want anything, but I thought I’d get you something anyway, because I don’t pay you anything for this, and I know you have better things to do with your time. He hands Seonghwa a bottle of iced tea. 

Seonghwa looks at him. “I... thanks,” he says taking it gratefully. 

Then, another boy walks into the room. “Well, the rumors were true then. Pretty boy really is tutoring Hongjoong in chemistry.”

Seonghwa scowls. “It’s hard to be smart,” he says. 

The boy only smirks back. “I bet he pays you with sex or something. You would enjoy that, wouldn’t you?”

The librarian comes over to the boy. “If you’re not here to study, you need to leave.”

The boy scowls and walks out. 

Seonghwa swallows, looking back at Hongjoong's homework paper. “So this-“

“Hwa, I’m sorry.”

“For what?”

“I’m sorry that they’re harassing you for no reason, and I’m sorry that I probably helped start it.”

“I don’t care anymore,” Seonghwa tells him. “I’ve heard everything now. I’m immune to it.”

“That doesn’t make it okay.”

“It’s really fine.”

Hongjoong hums. “You know, Hwa, if you were an element, you would be Francium, because you’re the most attractive.”

“Do you make these up or do you go home and look up dumb chemistry pick up lines?”

“Who knows? Anyway, help me with this one, yeah?”

“Okay.”

… 

When Seonghwa gets home, his dad is already there. 

“Seonghwa! Why were you out so late?” He asks angrily.

“I was studying at school?” Seonghwa offers.

“I told you not to be out past 6:30, and what time is it now?”

“...6:45.”

“Exactly. You know what you have coming.”

Seonghwa swallows, his adam’s apple bobbing. 

His father walks towards him. 

Seonghwa can feel the tears already forming in his eyes. “No,” he says. 

“What did you say?” He slaps Seonghwa’s face hard. “You break my rules, I hit you. You need to learn your lesson.” He pushes Seonghwa to the ground, kicking him in the stomach. 

Seonghwa yelps loudly. “I said, no,” He manages. “I didn’t do anything wrong. I was just studying.” He stands and turns, bolting to the door, throwing it open and rushing out into the hallway, going down the stairs, running as fast as he can until his legs won’t hold him anymore and he knows he’s safe. He picks up his phone, and he doesn’t know why, but he calls Hongjoong. 

“Hwa? Hi. Miss me already?”

Seonghwa says nothing. 

“Hwa? Seonghwa?”

Seonghwa is still crying. “I just needed to hear someone.”  _ I’m scared _ , he wants to say. He wants to confess everything.  _ I’m scared my dad will find me, and he’ll kill me _ .

“Are you okay?” He sounds worried. “Where are you?”

“I don’t know,” Seonghwa sobs. “It’s fine. I’m okay. I’ll see you Monday.”

“Seonghwa wait! Don’t hang up, please! Are you lost? Tell me what street you’re on and I’ll come pick you up.”

“I’m not lost. It’s fine. But thanks for the offer.”

“Hwa, you’re worrying me. Please, just let me see you.”

“Since when do you care about me?”

“It’s been a gradual process. I’m sorry that I was mean, and I hit you and made sex jokes. Just, please, Seonghwa. Send me your location and stay there. I’ll come pick you up, okay?”

“Okay,” Seonghwa says. He hangs up and does what Hongjoong asked. He just stands there on the sidewalk and cries until a car pulls up in front of him. 

Hongjoong rolls down the widow. “You can get in. I won’t hurt you.”

Seonghwa opens the door and climbs into the passenger seat. He feels a strong pair of arms around him. Seonghwa hates how much he likes the feeling of Hongjoong holding him. Seonghwa is taller, but Hongjoong is more muscular with broader shoulders and stronger arms. Seonghwa feels small when Hongjoong holds him, but he doesn’t dislike the feeling.

“Hey, it’s going to be okay,” Hongjoong whispers comfortingly. “What happened?”

Seonghwa holds his backpack to his chest but says nothing

“You don’t want to talk?” Hongjoong asks. “It’s okay. I’ll drive you home. Where do you live?”

“I can’t go back there,” Seonghwa sobs. “He’ll kill me. I tried to stand up to him, but I made it worse!” He drops his backpack and opts to hold Hongjoong instead. 

“Hey, hey. It’s okay. I won’t make you go home if you don’t want to. I’ll take you to my house, is that okay?”

“I’d feel bad.”

“Don’t. You tutor me for free. It’s the least I can do, okay? Just sit down. Put your seatbelt on.”

They spend the drive in silence. Hongjoong keeps his eyes trained on the road, and Seonghwa just watches him. 

“Hwa,” Hongjoong says suddenly. “If I could rearrange the periodic table, I’d put Uranium and Iodine next to each other so U and I can always be together.”

Seonghwa laughs a little despite himself. “Thanks for trying to cheer me up. Sorry for this.”

“Anything for a friend, Seonghwa.”

“I’m your friend?”

“You don’t want to be my friend?” Hongjoong asks.

“No, that’s not it. I was just surprised.” Seonghwa smiles to himself and repeats the word in his head.  _ Friend _ .

They drive a little longer before Hongjoong pulls into a driveway. “Come on. It’ll be fine. My mom will love you.”

Seonghwa grabs his backpack and follows Hongjoong into the house. 

“Hongjoong, where on earth have you been?” A woman shriek, sorming up to Hongjoong. 

Seonghwa starts crying all over again. “I’m sorry,” he murmurs. “I’m so sorry.”

The woman looks at him. “Hongjoong, who is this?”

“This is Seonghwa. He’s the one helping me with chemistry. He’s... in a bad situation, and he doesn’t have anywhere to go.”

She sighs. “Why didn’t you say that before you just got up and left?” She turns to Seonghwa. “Lovely to meet you, Seonghwa. Have you eaten?”

“Yes,” he lies.

Hongjoong elbows him. “No you haven’t. You only left school 25 minutes ago, and I picked you up 5 minutes ago.”

“I’m really fine, but thank you.”

“Hwa, you can’t starve yourself.”

“You’ve already done enough for me, please. I can’t accept anything else.”

Hongjoong’s mother looks at him sympathetically. “I couldn’t possibly let a guest go hungry.”

“I’m not hungry. Don’t worry about it.”

Hongjoong looks at his mother. “Don’t force him. He’s had a hard day, I think.” He holds Seonghwa’s shoulders, pushing him down the hall. “This is my room. You can sleep here.”

“You... you would let me...?”

“I told you, you’re my friend.” He smiles, sitting down on the bed. “I don’t know what Wooyoung has against you. You’re amazing and nice and smart and everything that makes a good friend. Come here, Hwa. Give me a hug.”

Seonghwa shakes his head. “You don’t have to pretend you like me. I’m tired of it. I’m tired of your pity.”

“It’s not pity!”

Seonghwa sighs, curling up in a ball. “Okay. Goodnight.”

“‘Night, Hwa.”

… 

When Hongjoong wakes up the next morning, Seonghwa is gone, and he wonders for a moment if he had just dreamt it, but the he sees the note stuck to the bedpost. 

_ Thanks for everything _

_ -seonghwa _

“You’re welcome, Hwa,” he murmurs.

… 

Seonghwa goes back to school Monday. He goes to all his classes like usual, and he’s not really sure how to face Hongjoong after everything. 

He’s sitting in calculus when he raises his hand. “Can I go to the bathroom?”

“Go,” the teacher tells him. 

He gets up and walks down the hall, about to open the bathroom door before he hears voices coming from inside. 

“-why you hate him.” Hongjoong. 

“Oh come on, Hongjoong. You hate him too.” Wooyoung. 

“I don’t.”

“Just because he’s helping you with your god awful grades doesn’t mean he’s some god-sent messiah. You know that, so why do you even talk to him? Why do you act like you’re friends with him?”

Hongjoong is silent. 

“You just want him in bed, I know you do. You’ve been after his ass since freshman year.”

“He has a nice ass,” Hongjoong says defensively. 

“Will it be worth all the trouble? If you score him, and we both know you will, then you’ll just dump him and move on. You’re doing all of this for a one time thing?”

Seonghwa turns and walks away, back to his class. He can’t think. His mind is blank. He feels stupid and naive. He hates that he ever believed Hongjoong  _ liked  _ him.

… 

Seonghwa goes to his chemistry teacher after school. “I’m sorry,” he says, “but I don’t think I can do the tutoring thing anymore. My schedule is too busy and it’s just been too hard. I’m so sorry.”

She nods. “I understand, Seonghwa. Thank you for your work. His grade has already improved.”

Seonghwa forces a little smile he goes up to the library, to their normal table and leaving a little sticky note. He knows that hardly anyone else goes to the library, so only Hongjoong will know to read it. 

_ Hongjoong, _

_ I’m sorry. I can’t do this anymore. You didn’t need me anyway. If I’m being honest, I liked spending time with you, but I don’t think I can enjoy it anymore. Sorry. _

_ -Seonghwa _

And, with that, he leaves the library, opening his phone and blocking Hongjoong’s number. 

… 

When Seonghwa gets home, he sits in his room and cries. He thinks back to the past month, and so many fond memories are crumbling. Wooyoung’s words echo in his head. ‘You just want him in bed’. 

He thinks about Hongjoong, his smile and his laugh. He remembers how he could feel Hongjoong’s muscles when the other boy would hold him. He remembers the stupid chemistry pick up lines, the way Hongjoong would tell him he was beautiful. 

But it was lies. All of it. He hates how much it feels like a breakup when they were only friends.

He realizes now, that he probably loved Hongjoong. He would look forward to seeing him, hearing his voice. He even caught himself, when he was sad or upset, wanting Hongjoong to hold him and tell him everything would be okay. 

Of course, Hongjoong finds him at school the next day.

“Seonghwa!”

Seonghwa walks faster. 

Hongjoong grabs his arm. “Hwa, please. Why did you write that yesterday? The teacher said you were too stressed, but your note made it clear that wasn’t true. What did I do? Let me fix it, please.”

“I have class,” Seonghwa says pulling away. 

“Seonghwa, please!”

Seonghwa ignores him, trying his best to ignore the guilt settling in his stomach.

...

Seonghwa goes to his calculus study group after school. He sits next to a boy named Yeosang. They end up staying past the study session while going over the study guide, and Seonghwa realizes that maybe it was wrong to judge everyone in the school based on the few people that tormented him. Yeosang has a kind face and a warm smile, and, most of all, he’s easy to talk to.

“Boys?” Their teacher says after a few hours. “I have to close the classroom now, sorry.”

Seonghwa jumps up. “I’m sorry. I lost track of the time.” 

“Is something on your mind?” Yeosang asks once they’re outside, starting to walk towards Seonghwa’s apartment building, having mutually, yet silently, decided to walk each other home. “You seem down.”

Seonghwa sighs. “I hate feelings.”

Yeosang smiles sympathetically. 

Seonghwa tries to hold himself together, but, mortifyingly, still starts crying.

Yeosang looks surprised. “What’s wrong? You’re so smart and nice, if someone is making you sad, I’ll beat them up.”

“Have you ever... loved someone so much it feels like you exist just for them? So much that, when they look at you, you just feel... warm?”

Yeosang nods slowly. “I have.”

“So have I, I think.”

“Hongjoong? Yes, I’ve seen how you look at him. Like he’s your world. The sun and moon and stars. He’s trouble. I thought you knew that. Of all people—”

“I thought I did too. But he didn’t... He was different than everyone else. He was nice to me. Well, he pretended to be at least.”

“What did he do?”

Seonghwa swallows. “Nothing yet, really. I’m just scared to know what he’s going to do if I let him get closer. He’s nice to me, but I know he talks behind my back. He was never meant for me. He’s someone who will never be satisfied. Especially not with someone like me- someone who’s first priority is always school.”

“You’re going to be okay,” Yeosang promises. “Everyone experiences heartbreak. It will get better. My crush makes fun of me all the time because I’m on cheer.”

“You’re a cheerleader?”

Yeosang blushes. “I’m kind of a hypocrite too. I told you you should know Hongjoong is trouble, but I…” he bites his lip nervously. “I like Wooyoung?”

“Jung Wooyoung? You’re way too good for him,” Seonghwa says.

“And you’re too good for Hongjoong. But Wooyoung is nice, sometimes. Sometimes he stops by the gym during cheer practice and he tells us we’re doing a good job. I don’t know why I’m telling you this, really. I guess I just don’t have that many friends to share my feeling it’s with, and I thought you might understand.”

“I understand,” Seonghwa says.

… 

When Seonghwa gets home, he doesn’t feel too bad anymore because, in the absence of Kim Hongjoong, he found a friend in Kang Yeosang, the vice-captain of the cheer team.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So much foreshadowing happens in this chapter, so prepare yourselves  
> (I’ll try to keep updating once a day, but it might slow down a little bit)

Seonghwa goes to his first class early the next day and just sits at his desk. He pictures Hongjoong’s face in his mind, imagines Hongjoong saying his name.  _ Hwa. Seonghwa. _

“Seonghwa!”

Seonghwa looks up. “I can’t talk to you right now, okay?” He tells Hongjoong, his heart aching. “Just leave me alone, please.”

“Hwa, please just tell me what I did wrong. I’ll do anything to fix it. You... You’re an amazing friend. You mean so much to me-“

“I don’t. I don’t mean anything to you. You’ve never thought of me as a friend. And you know exactly what you did wrong. You just don’t know that I know.”

“What?”

Seonghwa shakes his head. 

“Hwa. Seonghwa, I...” he’s crying. “I don’t know. Please tell me. Of course I think of you as my friend.”

“I heard you talking to Wooyoung,” Seonghwa says, holding back tears. “I don’t mean anything to you. You just wanted to get in my pants. that’s what it was all this time. I was wondering why you were being nice to me, and now I know.”

“Hwa, that’s not true. You’re wrong.”

“I heard it with my own ears.”

“That’s only what Wooyoung thinks, and he doesn’t know anything. That’s not why I wanted to be friends with you, Seonghwa.”

Seonghwa covers his face. “I liked it when you were nice to me. I liked it when you called me pretty and smart, and I have to say, you almost made me fall for you. A couple more weeks and I might have. So I’m glad I know now. I don’t hate you, I just wish you’d let it go. Just don’t talk to me again.”

“Hwa, let me explain.”

“There’s nothing to explain!”

“There is! I... didn’t want you in bed. Well, I kind of did, but that’s not how it started. In freshman year, I thought you were so cute. I tried to flirt with you all the time, but you never even noticed. So I asked Wooyoung what to do, and he said, ‘if you want him to notice you, you have to be mean to him’ but I didn’t want to be mean to you. So I teased you a little, but that only made you hate me. And I thought I ruined my chances with you, but then you were supposed to be tutoring me, and I wanted to think of it as a chance to get to know you. And god, I only fell for you even more. You called me that night, and I was so scared, but after it was over, I was honored that you would trust me. Wooyoung never really understood. He kept telling me to give up on you. He thought I just wanted you for sex, but that wasn’t it at all. I wanted you for you. Is still do. I love you, Hwa.”

Seonghwa blinks. “I don’t know what you want me to say.”

“Whatever you feel.”

“I... I need time.”

“Hey. I have a basketball game Friday. You should come. No, you’re going to come. And if we win, you’ll go on a date with me, and if we lose, I’ll leave you alone. Okay?”

“I... okay.” He hears a loud chorus of ‘ooh’ from the other side of the classroom, and looks to see Yeosang. 

“A date?” Yeosang says, quirking an eyebrow. “Sorry for interrupting.”

Hongjoong grins.

Seonghwa blushes. “Don’t get ahead of yourself. You haven’t won the game yet.”

Seonghwa can’t believe he’s actually doing this. He can’t believe Hongjoong asked him to do this. He climbs up the bleachers and sits next to a boy he doesn’t know. He doesn’t want to sit near anyone from his school, because all they’re going to do is tease him, and Yeosang is on cheer, and therefore has a performance at half-time, so he has to spend the first half of the game stretching with the team

The boy looks at Seonghwa. “You’re from this school?”

“Yeah, sorry.”

“You’re not going to sit with your friends?” The boy asks.

Seonghwa shrugs. 

“So you’re by yourself? Do you have a friend playing? A brother? A boyfriend?”

“I don’t know.”

He looks confused. “I’m Yunho.”

“Seonghwa.” 

They watch the game together. The score is close the whole time. Yunho admits that his boyfriend is on the team opposing Seonghwa’s school, a tall boy a year younger than Seonghwa named Song Mingi. Seonghwa has noticed that this Mingi is very loud, but he turns to smile and wave at Yunho every once in a while, which Seonghwa finds endearing. 

Yeosang and his team perform at half-time. Seonghwa realizes that Yeosang is not vice-captain of the cheer team for nothing. Also, he’s not a huge fan of Choi San, but he is similarly not the cheer captain for nothing. Seonghwa sees Yeosang blush when Wooyoung tells the team they did well. 

Seonghwa and Yunho trade phone numbers, and everything is going well, so much that Seonghwa almost forgets about his complicated relationship with Hongjoong. 

But then it happens. It’s so fast that Seonghwa barely sees it. One moment Hongjoong is there and the next moment, he’s on the floor, and expression of pain evident on his face. 

There’s a boy standing above him, and Seonghwa is close enough to hear him say, “How’re you going to play now, Kim?”

Hongjoong stands up. “I’ll play even if you push me down five hundred times.” He takes a step forward and his ankle wobbles a bit. Wooyoung catches him. 

His coach stands up. “Hongjoong, don’t push yourself. Sit down.”

“I’m fine, coach.”

“Take a short break. Then you can go back out. There’s still over a quarter left.”

Hongjoong huff and sits down on the bench. 

Yunho frowns. “That was low.”

Seonghwa can only nod. 

Hongjoong comes back in later, and his team still ends up winning. Yunho and Mingi don’t look too sad about it though, and, when Seonghwa asks, Yunho says, “For Mingi, it’s just about having fun.”

Seonghwa doesn’t know how to feel. 

Hongjoong turns around and looks at him, smiling. “Seonghwa, I love you!”

Seonghwa wants the ground to swallow him up. He covers his face. 

“So he is your boyfriend?” Yunho asks. 

“I told him I’d go on a date with him if he won. I used to tutor him.”

Someone behind him laughs. “Pretty boy is embarrassed. You should be honored that he even wants you. Our whole school, and he chose you.”

Seonghwa turns back. “Of course. The name ‘pretty boy’ isn’t for nothing.”

People start to file out of the gym, and Hongjoong comes up to Seonghwa.

“Unblock my phone number.”

Sronghwa takes out his phone and does so. “There. Text me when you want to cash it in.”

“You’re so cute. Can I hug you?”

“No, that’s gross. You’re all sweaty. Shower and change, then you can. But... are you okay? Your ankle...”

“It’s okay. Hurts a bit, but I can still walk. Were you worried?”

“Yes.” Seonghwa looks him up and down. “Do you want me to wait for you? I was going to walk with Yeosang, but—”

“Who’s Yeosang?”

“Friend from my calc class. Cheer team?”

“Oh, Kang Yeosang, yeah, I know him. You don’t have to wait up for me, don’t worry.”

Seonghwa smiles. “I’ll see you on Monday, then?”

“Can I see you before then?”

“Text me.”

“And please don’t stop tutoring me. I liked that time with you. I miss it.”

“I miss it too,” Seonghwa admits. “Bye. Good job.” He stands up on his toes and presses his lips to Hongjoong’s cheek.

“Hwa...”

“Bye!” Seonghwa turns and runs away, his face burning. He finds Yeosang outside, talking to Wooyoung, so he backs behind a wall to stay out of sight. 

“Good job today,” Wooyoung says. “Vice-captain, right?”

“Yeah,” Yeosang says, his voice small and nervous. 

“You’re almost as good as San now. What’s your name again?”

“Yeosang. Kang Yeosang.”

“Well, I have to go. See you around, Kang Yeosang.”

Seonghwa comes out after Wooyoung is gone trying to act clueless as to the source of Yeosang’s blush, but Yeosang catches on quickly. 

“You were there the whole time, weren’t you? Now you’re going to make fun of me.” He points. 

Seonghwa shrugs awkwardly. “I’m older, so it’s my job to protect you from mean old Jung Wooyoung.”

“He’s not mean.”

“Not to you, which is good. I’m just trying to be a helpful hyung.”

Yeosang rolls his eyes. “Let’s just go.”

“He’s right thought,” Seonghwa says. “You did amazing in the performance. That flip thing—”

“Handspring,” Yeosang corrects. “But thank you. It was nice to have a friend watching me for once. Everyone knows me, and they're friendly but no one’s really  _ friends with me _ , you know?”

Seonghwa nods.

“Good thing I have you now.”

“How about San?”

“He’s… he’s nice outside of practice, but he’s kind of hard on the team. He… pushes us too hard sometimes. I know that he wants to do well at nationals, but…”

Seonghwa looks at him sympathetically. “Don’t hurt yourself.”

Yeosang smiles. “I won’t. Don’t worry about me.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ...foreshadowing...


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> :)

Seonghwa wakes up the next morning with a text from Hongjoong. 

Hongjoong: are you free today?

Seonghwa: yeah

Hongjoong: do you want to like go on a date

Hongjoong: with me

Seonghwa: I said I would. Send me when and where

Hongjoong: I’ll pick you up in an hour. Send me your address. 

Seonghwa: Okay 

Hongjoong: <3

Seonghwa begrudgingly gets up from his bed and walks over to his wardrobe, rubbing the sleep from his eyes. He puts on an oversized white sweater with a black collared shirt underneath and pairs it with some ripped black skinny jeans. He even thinks about putting in contacts instead of his glasses, but he doesn’t, deciding that would be weird. He flops back on his bed and grabs his phone from the bedside table. 

He gets another text half an hour later. 

Hongjoong: I’m outside 

Seonghwa stands up and exits his room, going into the hallway and taking the elevator down to the ground floor. He exits the building and sees Hongjoong’s car immediately car immediately. He feels a little giddy inside at the sight of it because he’s going on a date with Kim Hongjoong. He walks over to it and opens the door. “Hi,” he says.

“Hey, Hwa. You look nice.”

“Thank you,” Seonghwa blushes. “You too.”

“You’re really cute when you blush,” Hongjoong tells him. 

Seonghwa only blushes more. “It’s weird to hear you say that. Why did you start to like me, anyway?”

“Because... you were different from everyone else, but in a good way. You weren’t obsessed with popularity or dating or sex. You kept to yourself and you were never nosy or rude. You just seemed nice. And you’re cute.But that’s just a bonus.”

Seonghwa hums contemplatively. “I see.”

“Ominous response. Where do you want to eat?”

“I don’t care. You pick.”

“Okay.”

They end up going to a cafe. It’s cute and small and it’s not the kind of place he would have imagined Hongjoong going to with his whole ‘bad boy’ vibe, but he likes it. 

Seonghwa blushes at the awkward silence as they sit down with their food and drinks. “I don’t really know what I’m supposed to say,” he admits. “I’ve only ever really talked to you about chemistry.”

“Tell me about yourself. What makes you happy?”

“I like to read. Stories, you know. I imagine that my life is like the characters, because I never really want to be myself.”

“Why don’t you want to be yourself?”

“Would you want to be me?”

“I mean... I wish I were as smart as you. I don’t really know anything about your life, so I can’t tell.”

Seonghwa doesn’t say anything to that.

“Hwa, I want to kiss you so bad,” Hongjoong admits.

Seonghwa turns red, surprised. He notices that Hongjoong is a little red too. “Not here,” he says. “Not when there are people around.”

“Do I embarrass you?”

“No, it’s just—” Seonghwa starts.

“I was joking, Hwa. I get it. But I can kiss you later?” He asks. 

Seonghwa only smiles gently in response. 

“Hey, I have somewhere I want to take you.” Hongjoong says. “Come with me.”

...

Hongjoong remembers when he had first seen Seonghwa. There was something about him that had just captured Hongjoong’s attention. They were in English class together freshman year, and Hongjoong remembers when the teacher had read Seonghwa’s essay aloud to the class, praising him for writing something so well thought out, and Seonghwa had just sat there, covering his face in utter humiliation, looking like he wanted the ground to swallow him up. He remembers when they changed seats so he sat next to Seonghwa, and he had tried so hard to look at the other boy’s papers to figure out his name without being accused of cheating. He remembers staring at Seonghwa’s lips all class period, watching him answer the teacher’s questions. He had felt terrible after he had first teased Seonghwa. He felt so bad that he still remembers the exact words. “Why are you so weird?” He had said. “You’re too girly for a boy.”

And that’s how everything had started. A week later, he had walked into their English classroom to see someone standing in front of Seonghwa. 

“Well, well, if it isn’t pretty boy, the class whore.”

And Hongjoong had felt awful. He’d gone home and cried. His mom had asked him what was wrong, but he’d felt so bad that he couldn’t even manage to say it. 

And now Seonghwa is here in front of him, and Hongjoong wants nothing more than to make him happy. 

...

Hongjoong drives them a couple minutes to the beach. It’s winter, so it’s not crowded, but they still walk a little bit along the shore. 

Seonghwa suddenly stops. He takes off his sweater and folds it nicely, placing it on the sand. He also slips off his shoes and socks and walks to the water. He steps in so that it reaches his ankles before going in further, up to his knees, then his waist. 

“Seonghwa, what are you doing? The water is freezing this time of year.”

Seonghwa just stands there. He loves the feeling of the breeze on his face, the water soaking his shirt and pants. He almost wants to just fall backwards and let the water engulf him. 

He feels hands suddenly hold his waist from behind. 

“Hwa, you’re crazy. You’re going to get sick.”

Seonghwa turns around to look at him. “Then so are you.”

“You looked so content, I wanted to see what made standing waist deep in the ocean in the middle of winter so satisfying, but I have to say, I still don’t quite understand. It’s so cold.” He shivers. 

“You’re weak,” Seonghwa tells him with a mischievous grin, splashing him with water. 

Hongjoong shrieks. “Seonghwa!”

Seonghwa only laughs and hugs him. “Thank you for everything.”

“You’re welcome.” He pulls back and looks into Seonghwa’s deep brown eyes. There’s so much emotion in them, so much knowledge, so much to be discovered. He reaches up and gently pulls off Seonghwa’s glasses for a better view, subconsciously caressing Seonghwa’s cheek. “Have I ever told you how beautiful your eyes are?”

“Yes, but I don’t mind you doing it again.”

Hongjoong laughs breathily, his eyes flicking down to Seonghwa’s slightly parted lips. “Can I?” He asks quietly, scared at the possibility of ruining the mood of the moment. 

Seonghwa nods slightly, his eyes fluttering closed as Hongjoong leans in closer, and, moments later, their lips finally connect. 

It’s different than Seonghwa had expected. It’s different than his books described. There are no fireworks, nothing. There’s only a sense of warmth and comfort that spreads through his body. It’s not perfect, either, not by a long shot. It’s awkward, having his first kiss standing waist deep in the ocean. He’s not sure what to do with his hands or his mouth. He doesn’t know if he’s supposed to kiss back or just let Hongjoong kiss him. He pushes forward a little, wrapping his arms around Hongjoong’s broad shoulders, feeling the muscles in his back. 

Hongjoong pulls back first, but stays close, keeping his hand on Seonghwa’s waist. “That was...” he says. “Amazing.”

Seonghwa can’t seem to find words. “I-“

“Was that your first kiss?”

Seonghwa nods, mortified that Hongjoong could tell. “I’m sorry I didn’t really know what to do.”

“Hey, Hwa, it’s fine. You were great. Let’s go home yeah?”

“What time is it?”

“Six. Why?”

Seonghwa’s eyes widen in horror. “Oh my god, I really have to go. Quickly.”

“What? What’s wrong?”

“Did I do something?”

“No, today was amazing, thank you, but my curfew is 6:30 and my dad will kill me if I’m home late.”

“Then don’t go home. Come to my house. My mom won’t mind. You can borrow my clothes too, since yours are soaked. And I really don’t understand chemistry without you, I need your help with my homework.”

“I... yes, please.”

“I love you, Hwa,” he whispers gently, quickly recapturing Seonghwa’s lips. 

“I love you too,” Seonghwa tells him when he pulls away. 

“Do you like the beach?” Hongjoong asks curiously.

“Yes,” Seonghwa answers. “It’s going to be special now though. I’m going to think of you.”

Hongjoong laughs, picking Seonghwa up. “Good. I’ll think of you too.”

“Don’t pick me up. I’m taller than you. It’s awkward.”

Hongjoong puts him down. “Whatever you want, Hwa.”

...

Hongjoong’s mother surprisingly doesn’t mind Seonghwa coming over unannounced. She only smiles and welcomes him.

“Why are you both all wet?”

“Because Seonghwa wanted to walk in the ocean.”

“Sorry,” Seonghwa murmurs. “You didn’t have to follow me.”

“But. Aren’t you glad that I did?” Hongjoong smirks.

Seonghwa blushes. “I... Can I use your shower?”

Hongjoong nods. “Come on.”

“Kim Hongjoong!” His mom calls. “I want you to leave your door open!”

“Yeah, okay.” He leads Seonghwa to his room. “The shower is in there. I’ll find you some clothes.”

Seonghwa nods.

“You know, Hwa, we should talk about this. Us.”

Seonghwa nods again. His eyes are pointed at the floor.

Hongjoong reaches for Seonghwa’s face, forcing Seonghwa to look at him. “Hwa, I like you. I like you a lot. I know I said one date, but…” he takes an audible deep breath. Park Seonghwa, will you go out with me?”

“I... yeah,” Seonghwa says, slightly giddy.

He smiles and pecks Seonghwa’s lips. “Go shower.”

Seonghwa nods. He takes off his glasses and slides them onto Hongjoong’s face. “I don’t want them to get fogged up.”

“Wow,” Hongjoong says. “You’re really blind.”

“I know, okay? It’s not my fault.”

“I never said it was a bad thing. You look cute with your glasses. You look cute without them, too. Hwa always looks cute.”

Seonghwa rolls his eyes. “Oh, shut up.” He turns and walks into the bathroom.

When hes done, he comes out in a simple t-shirt and sweatpants that he borrowed from Hongjoong. “You have no fashion sense,” he says.

“Yeah, I know.” Hongjoong says, handing Seonghwa his glasses. “Then again though, you always dress to show as little skin as possible, other than slightly ripped jeans. I’ve never even seen you wear short sleeves until now.”

Seonghwa sighs, wringing his hands before holding them up so Hongjoong can see. “I have scars all up my arm, and I hate them. I never wanted anyone to know.”

Hongjoong looks at the scabbed up cuts. “These ones are recent. How did you get these?”

Seonghwa lowers his hands. “My dad,” he admits softly.

“That’s horrible. Is… Is there anything I can do?”

Seonghwa shakes his head. 

Hongjoong takes Seonghwa’s wrist and kisses it. “If you ever feel unsafe, just find me or text me. Remember that I love you. I promise I do. I always will. I’ll protect you. I’d go to the ends of the earth for you.”

“Always is a long time,” Seonghwa tells him. “But I’ll try.” 

“Good. Let’s go eat something.” Hongjoong smiles. “I’ll get the food; you can sit down.” He leaves and returns minutes later with a plate for himself and a plate for Seonghwa, sitting beside his boyfriend on the bed. “Do you want to watch a movie or something?"

“Sure.”

“What do you like?”

“I don’t really watch movies ever,” Seonghwa admits. “You pick.” 

“You... oh my god,” he grabs his computer and opens it, bringing something up. This is a masterpiece, you have to see it. It’s in Japanese, so you’re going to have to read subtitles, but that doesn’t make it any less amazing.”

“Your name,” Seonghwa reads from the screen. “It’s a pretty cover.”

“Yeah, the art is amazing. I’ve seen it like five times, but it’s always good.”

Seonghwa cries. A lot. And he hates that he does. He hates himself for being so emotional, but it’s a very good movie. He tentatively rests his head on Hongjoong’s shoulder.

Hongjoong puts an arm around him, in response, pulling him closer, comforting him. He shuts the computer when it’s over, holding Seonghwa close. “Beautiful, right? God, I love that movie.”

“It was good,” Seonghwa murmurs, wiping his eyes. “You know, you’re the only person who’s ever seen me cry.”

“I guess that’s probably a bad thing.”

“No, not really,” Seonghwa promises. “It was at first, but, now, it really just means that I’m comfortable with you.”

“I’m glad.” He strokes Seonghwa’s hair. “How did I get such a perfect boyfriend?”

“I’m not. I have lots of problems.”

“Everyone does. It’s part of what makes you yourself. But I’m... I’m sorry about Wooyoung, and I’m sorry about your dad.”

“Don’t be sorry.” They sit in comfortable silence for a while, before Seonghwa says, “Hongjoong?”

“Yeah?”

“Teach me how to kiss.” Seonghwa says, his own words making him blush. “You’re so good at it, and and I don’t know what I’m supposed to do. It’s embarrassing, and I don’t want you to have to take the lead all the time.”

“You were fine to me, Hwa. You have really nice lips. That makes up for your lack of experience.” He starts to stand. “I’ll clear the dishes.”

Seonghwa pushes him down and climbs into his lap. “I’m serious.”

“You just... do whatever feels right. It’s really just practice, getting more comfortable with it. You can kiss me now, if you want.”

Seonghwa takes off his glasses (they only ever get in the way) and he slowly leans forward, pressing his lips against Hongjoong’s. He pushes forward a little, looping his arms around Hongjoong’s neck, pressing their chests together, moving his head to the side. Seonghwa opens his mouth a little, and Hongjoong follows suit, inviting Seonghwa to use his tongue a little bit.

It’s so intimate, so passionate, and Seonghwa just wants more and more. He feels Hongjoong’s hands reach down to hold Seonghwa’s thighs that are straddling his lap. 

Seonghwa breaks it eventually, gasping for air.

Hongjoong chases his lips for a second before slumping back against the wall. “Seonghwa…”

Seonghwa tenses nervously, waitin in terrified anticipation for Hongjoong’s reaction.

Hongjoong grins, pulling Seonghwa down with him. “I love you,” he murmurs quietly.

Seonghwa hums and closes his eyes, ready for sleep to find him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So much fluff rn but do not fret there is angst to come


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m sorry Wooyoung is an asshole in this chapter but he gets better

“When are you going to get rid of him?” Wooyoung groans to Hongjoong, as they walk through the hallway during passing period.

“Never,” Hongjoong smiles.

“Seriously, Hongjoong, give up. He’s never going to date you; he’s never going to want you. He knows what you’re like.”

“Actually, he already is dating me, so fuck you, Wooyoung.” Hongjoong flips him off.

Wooyoung’s eyes widen. “Kim Hongjoong, you didn’t...”

Hongjoong glares. All the eyes are on them. “I did. You’re an asshole, and I don’t want to hang out with you anymore.”

Wooyoung grabs his collar. “Shut up. Park Seonghwa will dump your lame ass eventually, and what will you do then? You’ll be all alone with no friends, begging for me to take you back.”

“I’d rather be friendless than be friends with you,” Hongjoong tells him. He looks around and sees Seonghwa’s face in the crowd, staring with a mixture of awe and horror. Hongjoong walks up to Seonghwa, kissing him on the lips, feeling him up a little. He can feel Wooyoung and the rest of the hallway’s inhabitants staring at them, whispering.

“So it’s true? Hongjoong is really dating pretty boy?”

Seonghwa pulls away, starting at Hongjoong in shock. “What the  _ fuck _ do you think you’re doing?” He whispers, pushing past Hongjoong and heading up the stairs to his next class, leaving Hongjoong staring after him.

...

Hongjoong meets Seonghwa after school in the library, sitting down in his usual chair.

Seonghwa doesn’t look him in the eyes. “So,” he says, “Solubility rules and the activity series. You’ll have to memorize these for the test. Group 1 and-“

“Seonghwa.”

Seonghwa presses his lips together. “What?” His voice is cold.

“I’m sorry.”

Seonghwa looks at him. “You don’t even know what you did, do you?”

“I kissed you in the hallway. I shouldn’t have, I know you don’t like doing it in public, but Wooyoung was saying things, and-“

“Hongjoong.” Seonghwa looks at him sternly. “Kissing is one thing, but you were feeling me up, groping my ass in front of all those people, and you want me to be okay with that?”

“I’m sorry.”

“You’re not. You did it to make Wooyoung mad, and you succeeded, so you’re not sorry at all. You got what you wanted. You knew he would give me shit, and he did. You used me, and I’m not cool with that.”

“What did he do to you?”

“Oh, just the usual. Told me I’d never be good enough for you.”

“Hwa, I’m so sorry. I was just mad; I wasn’t thinking.”

“Of course you weren’t. You never think.”

“If you’re going to break up with me, just get it over with, Seonghwa. I was insensitive and stupid and I understand. I’m sorry.”

“I don’t want to break up with you,” Seonghwa tells him. “I just want you to learn that, at this point in the game, your actions affect me too. So just, think a little before you act, yeah?”

“I’m trying. I’ll try harder. We can work on setting boundaries.”

“Thank you,” Seonghwa kisses him quickly. “I’m sorry if I’m being difficult,” He says. “But I just get scared sometimes that all of this is just to spite Wooyoung, even though I know it’s not true. I’m sorry.”

“It’s fine, Hwa. You’re not being difficult.”

Seonghwa smiles softly at him. “Now, your chemistry homework isn’t going to do itself.”

… 

Seonghwa practically lives at Hongjoong’s house these days, but Hongjoongs family doesn’t seem to mind. In fact, they all seem to like him well enough, and the fact that he’s polite is all Hongjoong’s mother needs to keep him around.

Hongjoong’s father isn’t home very often, usually off on business trips, so this is the first time Seonghwa is going to meet him, so, naturally, Seonghwa is kind of freaking out. 

“What do I do?” He asks Hongjoong frantically. “What do I say? What if he doesn’t like me? Will he be mad that I pretty much live here? That I sleep in your bed every night, even if we don’t do anything? What if he doesn’t like that I’m dating you? Does he even know you’re gay? Hell, does your mom know I’m dating you?”

Hongjoong laughs. “He knows who you are, Hwa. My parents know you’re my boyfriend. I talk about you to him on the phone. You’ll do fine. He’ll love you.”

“Hongjoong!” His mother calls. “Come out here! Your father is here!”

“Oh, god,” Seonghwa says. “I don’t think I’m ready for this.”

Hongjoong smiles encouragingly. “Come on. You’ll be fine.”

Seonghwa lets Hongjoong lead him back into the living room.

Hongjoong’s dad is sitting on a chair with his legs crossed. He’s wearing a black business suit and tie, glasses perched on his nose.

“Dad?” Hongjoong says.

His father stands up and embraces him. “Hongjoong! Sorry, the trip went on longer than expected. I missed you. You look taller. Have you grown?”

“I don’t think so, Dad,” he laughs. “Maybe you shrunk.” He tugs on Seonghwa’s hand. “Dad, this is Seonghwa.”

Seonghwa bows. “Nice to meet you, sir.”

“Don’t call me sir. That’s too formal.” He says, pulling Seonghwa into an uncomfortably tight hug. “I’ve heard so much about you. My son is very fond of you. I’m glad you make him happy.”

“I’m glad too. He makes me happy as well.”

Hongjoong hugs him. “Hwa, you’re so cute.”

Seonghwa squirms free. “You’re embarrassing.”

“You love me.”

Seonghwa can’t stop himself from smiling. “I do,” he says.

“Dinner!” Hongjoong’s mom calls.

They all sit at the table together to eat. 

“Seollal is coming up,” Hongjoong’s dad says. “Is Seonghwa going to spend it with us?”

Seonghwa shakes his head vigorously. “I couldn’t impose. I’m just going to celebrate at home.”

Hongjoong looks at him. “Seonghwa-“

“I have my dad,” Seonghwa insists. “He’s scary sometimes, but he’s usually fine. He’s my family.”

“If he’s fine then why do you sleep here?” Hongjoong asks.

Seonghwa swallows the lump in his throat. “Because I like you?”

“Hwa, I know about him. You told me before. It’s not something to be ashamed of, but you should go to child services.”

Seonghwa looks away. “I’m not talking about this right now,” he says. “I don’t need child services.”

“Stop. Joong,” Hongjoong’s mother says. “If he’s your boyfriend, you should respect him.”

“But mom, his dad fucking—”

“Language, Hongjoong.”

“Stop, please,” Seonghwa says. “Don’t fight because of me.”

“Hwa, just spend Seollal with us,” Hongjoong practically begs, tagging on a, “please,” after a moment.

“I... okay. But I don’t-“

“You’re not imposing,” Hongjoong’s mother promises. “Hongjoong loves you, so you’re always welcome here.”

When they go to bed, Seonghwa is clingy, not letting go of Hongjoong’s waist.

“Seonghwa?” Hongjoong says gently. “I have to change. Can you let go?”

Seonghwa murmurs something incoherent into Hongjoong’s shoulder.

“Hwa, please? I’ll cuddle with you after.”

“Fine,” Seonghwa mumbles, letting his arms fall to his sides. He walks over to Hongjoong’s bed and lies down, curling up under the covers. 

Hongjoong sits down beside him after a moment. “Hwa, what’s wrong?”

“I wish I had a family like yours,” Seonghwa admits.

Hongjoong pets his hair. “It’s okay. You have me. Maybe we’ll be family someday.”

Seonghwa blinks. “You mean like... get married?”

“I mean... maybe?”

“Kim Hongjoong, are you proposing to me?”

“Um... no,” Hongjoong says. “Not yet.” He winks. “I haven’t saved up enough for the ring.”

Seonghwa hides his face under the blankets. “Oh my god. I love you.”

“I love you too.” Hongjoong pats Seonhwa’s head through the blankets. “Sleep well.”

...

“You know,” Yeosang says that Monday in Calculus class. “I’m kind of worried about you. I don’t know about you and Hongjoong.”

Seonghwa opens his mouth, but Yeosang cuts him off. 

“I know he’s being nice to you now, but he didn’t use to be, and that makes me think that maybe he’s not right for you.”

“Says the person who likes Jung Wooyoung.”

“Wooyoung has never bullied me, Seonghwa. Wooyoung has never called me names. The worst thing he’s called me is ‘cheerleader’, which he obviously doesn’t care about because San is also on cheer and San is his best friend. Hongjoong called you a whore. Hongjoong made you cry so many times. He doesn’t respect you.”

Seonghwa gulps. “I just… I want to believe that he’s changed. That he knows that he was wrong.”

Yeosang sighs. “I can’t control your actions, but I am your friend, and, therefore, it’s my duty to make sure you’re safe. You can hardly blame me worrying- he has a reputation. But, Seonghwa, I don’t care what you say, if he ever hurts you again, I’m beating him up and throwing his body in a garbage disposal.”

“Then I’ll do the same with Wooyoung.”

“Please do. I don’t want to be with someone who doesn’t think of me as a person,” Yeosang says.

“Hey!” Their teacher calls. “Park Seonghwa, Kang Yeosang, eyes up here!”

Yeosang turns back to the board without another word, while Seonghwa looks down at his desk, contemplating Yeosang’s words. ‘He doesn’t respect you’.

…

After school, Seonghwa sits in the library afterward, waiting for Hongjoong to finish basketball practice when someone sits beside him. He expects to see Hongjoong done with practice early, but it’s not.

“Wooyoung?” He asks quietly.

“Seonghwa.” He laughs humorlessly. “Hongjoong is so taken with you. How are you enjoying it? Do you actually like him or do you not want to hurt his feelings?”

“I don’t see how that’s your business.”

“He abandoned me, his best friend, for his relationship with you, but I want him back. If you don’t like him, make this easy and break up with him now.”

“I do like him.”

Wooyoung grabs his hand. “Then come with me.” He takes Seonghwa to the storage room on the other side of campus before speaking again. “Hongjoong always makes me out to be the bad guy, doesn’t he?” He asks, voice dangerously low.

“I mean... kind of, but is it not deserved?”

“He wants to feel like a hero. He wants you to be dependent on him so he can validate himself.” Wooyoung shoves Seonghwa against the wall. “You’re a whore and a loser, but you are pretty. Maybe I should take that away. Then you’d really be worthless. I’m giving you a choice. Option one: you can keep quiet about this and break up with Hongjoong now, or, option two: I make your life a living hell.” He covers Seonghwa’s mouth so he can’t scream. “I have all day, so I’m just going to stay here until you’ve made your decision.” He takes his hand away for a moment, and Seonghwa gasps for air.

“I’ll do it,” Seonghwa says quietly. “But on a condition.”

… 

Seonghwa runs back to the library to wait for Hongjoong, packing up his stuff, still unable to comprehend that Wooyoung threatened him.

“Seonghwa,” Hongjoong says when he sits at the table. “You’ll never believe what happened-“

“Hongjoong,” Seonghwa says, voice stern and resolved. “I need to talk to you.”

Hongjoong looks at him, taking in Seonghwa’s grave expression. “What... what is it? Do you want to walk home and we can talk about it there?”

“No, I... I think we need to break up.”

Hongjoong stares at him. “Did I do something wrong? I’ll fix it. Just tell me.”

“You didn’t, but we still need to end this. I don’t think I can take it anymore.”

“What?”

“We’re not part of the same circle. We both know that, and I can’t deal with people harassing me about it.”

“Who’s harassing you? I’ll kill them.”

“Don’t. This relationship is taking a toll on both of us. You lost a lot of friends because of me-“

“You’re the only one I need, though.”

“Stop making me feel guilty, please,” Seonghwa begs. “I don’t want to be with you anymore. I’ll keep helping you with chemistry, but I don’t think I’m ready to be in a romantic relationship. With anyone. It’s not just you.”

“But I love you. I thought you loved me too. Did Wooyoung tell you to do this? Did he threaten you?”

“No! He didn’t.”

“He did. I’ll kill him.”

“Hongjoong! This has nothing to do with Wooyoung. I was trying to be nice, but you won’t take it unless I say it outright. I don’t love you anymore, okay? I regret it. I regret everything.”

“No, please. Don’t regret it...” He reaches for Seonghwa’s hand, but Seonghwa moves away.

“I need to go home. It’s almost my curfew.”

“Seonghwa, this same thing happened before with the hallway incident, and it was a misunderstanding. Let’s just talk about it.”

“It’s not the same thing, Hongjoong. I told you. It’s nothing that you did, I guess I just didn’t love you as much as I thought I did, so continuing wouldn’t be fair to you.”

“Fine,” Hongjoong says. “Suit yourself, then.” 

Seonghwa grabs his things and walks home crying. He can’t shake off how hurt Hongjoong looked. He feels a hand on his shoulder as soon as he gets off campus and looks up to see Wooyoung.

“Did you do it?”

Seonghwa nods.

“Good,” Wooyoung says. “He must have been devastated. Now you can tell be your condition or whatever.”

“I did what you asked,” Seonghwa snaps. “Now get away from me.” He tries to sound forceful, but his whole body is shaking with fear. “And stay away. That’s my condition. And stay away from Yeosang too.”

Wooyoung lets him go. “See you tomorrow, Seonghwa.”

Seonghwa walks a little faster. He gets to his apartment in record time, but he doesn’t have much time to rest. He gets a call almost as soon as he sits down, so he picks up his phone expecting to see Hongjoong’s name, but it’s not. It’s Yeosang. He answers it. “Hello?”

“Seonghwa? I went to the library to find you but you weren’t there. Is something wrong?”

“No, nothing. Just decided to leave early today. I just had a bad day, I guess.”

“Hey, talk to me,” Yeosang says. “Tell me what’s wrong, I’m your friend, I won’t judge you for anything. Was it Hongjoong? I swear, if he did something—”

“It wasn’t Hongjoong.” He gulps. “I don’t want to talk about it.” Why were you looking for me?”

“Seonghwa, what happened? You don’t want to tell me because you think I’ll be mad at Hongjoong?”

“I told you already, it wasn’t Hongjoong!”

“Was it Wooyoung? Is that why you don’t want to tell me?”

Seonghwa stays silent.

Yeosang swears from the other side of the line and hangs up. 


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeosang is mvp  
> Protect him  
> (You get 2 updates today because i was in the hospital for the past couple and had a lot of time)

Yeosang is tired of his best friend being a pushover, because he knows that Seonghwa deserves better than this.

Wooyoung is not hard to find.

Yeosang goes to the gym after school, where he knows basketball practice is going on, and therefore, both Wooyoung and Hongjoong will be there. Two birds with one stone. He pushes through the doors into the gym. Hongjoong is sitting alone and Wooyoung is surrounded by a group of people. He goes to Hongjoong first, clearing his throat.

Hongjoong looks up at him. “You’re Seonghwa’s friend. From the cheer team.”

“Yeosang,” Yeosang corrects. “Seonghwa is upset, and if it’s because of you, I’m not as forgiving as he is, and I’m not scared of you.”

“Seonghwa,” Hongjoong says. “Broke up with me. I think I’m the one who should be upset.”

Yeosang is surprised at that. Seonghwa wasn’t very happy when Yeosang suggested he end the relationship, so what was different now. “Good for him,” Yeosang says. “You never deserved him.”

“I was trying my best!”

“You hurt him,” Yeosang says. “On purpose. That isn’t something people just forgive and forget.”

He turns on his heel and stalks towards Wooyoung.

“Hey,” Wooyoung says. “Kang Yeosang. Here to watch practice?”

Yeosang scowls. “I’m her to figure out what you did to Seonghwa. I know you did something.”

“I didn’t do anything,” Wooyoung says.

“You are a terrible liar,” Yeosang tells him. “What did you do?” He takes a step closer.

Wooyoung takes a step back.

Yeosang grabs his shirt. “What did you do to Seonghwa?”

Wooyoung gasps. “I threatened him into breaking up with Hongjoong,” he admits, all in one breath.

Yeosang doesn’t let go. “How did you threaten him?”

“I told him that, if he did it, I’d stay away from him and from you. Can we… go somewhere else?”

Yeosang lets go and follows Wooyoung to the locker room. “What do you need to say that you can’t say in front of everyone else?”

“Hongjoong was my first friend. My only friend. I’ve known him forever, okay? Now, ever since we entered high school, all he talks about is Seonghwa, the cute guy in his english class. I tried to get him to mess it up by giving him fake flirting advice, and it worked for a little while, but then they started dating, and then, suddenly Hongjoong  _ hated  _ me. And, yes, I was mean to Seonghwa, but I just wanted my friend back!” He’s crying big, ugly sobs, and Yeosang almost feels bad for him. Almost. “I shouldn’t have bullied Seonghwa, I shouldn’t have tried to keep him and Hongjoong apart for so long, but I… I was too scared of being lonely. I’m lonely now, and it hurts. It hurts so bad. I talk to San, but it’s not the same.” He struggles for breath. “When I was younger, I used to get bullied too. Hongjoong protected me. He was always by my side no matter what happened, so, when he tried to leave, I did terrible things. I know they’re terrible, but I can’t regret it because I need him, Yeosang. I need him more than you know.”

“Well, I need Seonghwa,” Yeosang says. “I was lonely too. Seonghwa was so lonely when you started to ostracize him! You’re not the only one who needs people, Wooyoung. You should have just told Hongjoong how you felt instead of building this elaborate scheme that’s messing with other people’s lives!”

“Yeosang—”

“You need to tell Hongjoong,” Yeosang says. “You need to be honest with him, and with Seonghwa. You need to apologize and make this right.”

Wooyoung wipes his face. “It’s too late.”

“Better late than never,” Yeosang tells him. “Now, we both need to go to practice. I’m already late. San is going to yell at me.” He goes out to the field behind the gym where cheer practice always takes place.

“Yeosang!” San says when he sees Yeosang. “What’s wrong? You’re never late for practice.”

“Sorry,” Yeosang says.

“You’re the vice-captain! You’re supposed to set an example!”

Yeosang nods. “Sorry,” he says again.

“We already warmed up, so you can quickly change clothes and stretch by yourself. But state championships are coming up. These practices need to be first priority.”

“I understand,” Yeosang says. 

Yeosang can’t seem to focus on practice. He almost falls out of a lift, ends up a count behind after the jump sequence, and straight up forgets a couple seconds of choreography in the middle. He tries to mark the harder moves to save his strength, but San yells at him.

“Kang Yeosang, why are you half-assing it?” He asks once they’ve finished the run through of the routine. “You’re so out of it today. Is something wrong?”

Yeosang shakes his head. “Just a lot of stuff on my mind.”

San sighs. “Okay, everyone, we’re taking a water break!”

Yeosang texts Seonghwa during the break.

Yeosang: Hey can you wait for me? Come to the field when you’re done in the library or something?

Seonghwa: sure

Seonghwa: is something wrong?

Seonghwa: am I allowed to just come sit in on your practice

Yeosang: Sure!

Seonghwa: awesome I’ll be there in 10

That comforts Yeosang slightly, but the next few times they run the routine, he still feels a little weird. It feels better once Seonghwa is there, alternating between watching practice and doing his homework every couple minutes.

He knows that a few girls on the team have boyfriends on the basketball team, but that knowledge doesn’t preparing for seeing Jung Wooyoung standing just outside the gym, staring at him during a break in basketball practice. He waves at Yeosang, acting completely casual, like he hadn’t been sobbing in the locker room in front of Yeosang earlier. He smiles that smile and mouths ‘you’re cute’. 

That’s too much. He’s in a lift, being held up by two juniors and one freshman girl. He starts to lose his balance and panics. “Down!” He yells. “Let me down!”

And the freshman girl, instead of trying to help, just let’s go of him and steps back, letting Yeosang fall. He screams, and the fall feels so long, even though it was only about six feet at most. He remembers now why they practice on the grass instead of the gym floor.

Pain shoots through his leg when he hits the ground, and he feels tears spring to his eyes.

When he opens his eyes, Seonghwa is beside him. “Yeosang, are you okay?”

San is there. “Yeosang, I’m sorry if I pushed you too hard. I didn’t—”

“I’m okay,” Yeosang lies. “It hurts a little, but I don’t think anything is broken.”

“Can you stand?”

Yeosang grimaces and shakes his head.

San swears. “Seonghwa, can you take him to the emergency room or something?”

Seonghwa nods. “Yeosang…” He looks at San. “Is he going to be okay?”

“He’ll live. I doubt he’ll be able to perform at state or even nationals, but that’s not as important as his safety.” He breathes deeply. “Take care of him. Update me on his condition. I’m trusting you, Seonghwa.”

Seonghwa nods.

“Seonghwa,” a new voice says. 

Seonghwa glares. “I thought you promised to stay away from me and from Yeosang,” he tells Wooyoung.

“I know, just let me help you carry him.”

“Why?”

Wooyoung gulps. “It’s my fault he fell.”

“It wasn’t your fault,” Yeosang protests. “Falling isn’t a big deal, it’s just that there was no one to catch me. If I can’t compete, San will—”

“Yeosang,” Seonghwa says. “Don’t worry about the competition. Don’t worry about San. Worry about yourself.”

Yeosang grimaces. “Let Wooyoung help. It’s easier when you’re both supporting me. Besides, he has a car.”

Seonghwa hates that he has a point. “You’re going to be okay,” he tells Yeosang. He hopes he’s right.


	8. Chapter 8

Yeosang tore his ACL. The doctor at the emergency room says absolutely no cheer for at least six months. That means no state championship, and no nationals.  
Yeosang is crying. Yeosang’s parents have arrived and are also crying. Wooyoung relays the doctor's instructions to San, who doesn’t sound very happy about it, and all Seonghwa can do is sit there and watch it happen.  
“Hey,” Wooyoung says when he hangs up the phone. “Seonghwa, you… you really deserve an apology. You deserve a lot more than an apology, but I can’t go back in time, so this is all I can give. I never should have tried to keep you from Hongjoong. It’s my fault. Everything is my fault. I told him to be mean to you as fake advice so he would ruin his chance with you, so he wouldn’t leave me. I’m a terrible person. It’s my fault you’re alone, it’s my fault that Hongjoong is upset, it’s my fault that Yeosang is injured, everything is my fault, and I realize now that I was wrong. I was so wrong, Seonghwa. You don’t need to forgive me— no, you shouldn’t forgive me, I just wanted you to know that I regret it, and I’ll try not to get in your way again.”  
Seonghwa swallows, taken aback at Wooyoung’s sudden monologue. “You don’t need to stay away from Yeosang,” he says, “As long as you don’t hurt him.”  
“I already hurt him! He tore his ACL!”  
“How was that your fault?”  
“I waved at him and said he was cute, so he got distracted and lost his balance.” Wooyoung flinches, as if he expects Seonghwa to hit him.  
Seonghwa has never seen Wooyoung even close to this vulnerable before, and it scares him a little. “Why would you distract him while he was in a lift?”  
“I wasn’t thinking!” Wooyoung wails, starting to cry. “He just seemed down, and I was trying to cheer him up. He’s going to hate me.”  
“He’s not going to hate you.” It feels insanely weird for Seonghwa to be comforting the same Jung Wooyoung who made him cry just yesterday, but he looks so small and broken that Seonghwa can’t help but pity him. Wooyoung is quite possibly the most objectively attractive person in the school, but he’s not a pretty crier.  
“If it wasn’t for me and my selfishness, then everyone would be happier.”  
“I might be happier,” Seonghwa admits, “but Yeosang wouldn’t be happier. He told me so. He appreciates it a lot when you stop by cheer practice and tell them they’re doing a good job. And, trust me, I wouldn’t say that if it weren’t true because, to be honest, the last thing I want to be doing is comforting you.”  
“I know,” Wooyoung sniffs. “I’m going to tell Hongjoong everything as soon as he’ll let me talk to him. I promise I’ll fix this.” He chokes on a sob. “I’m sorry, I’m so sorry.”  
“Okay, you’re actually scaring me,” Seonghwa says. “Either you’re a really good liar, or you’re very unstable right now, and you need help. I don’t like you, but I’m not going to blame you for what happened to Yeosang. It was mostly that girl’s fault for not even trying to catch him when he fell.” He gulps. “I’m going to go home.” He says.   
“I’m sorry,” Wooyoung repeats.  
Seonghwa doesn’t respond. He doesn’t know what to say, so he just leaves. He’s honestly too worried about Yeosang to think too much about everything that’s going on with Wooyoung and Hongjoong.

… 

Seonghwa misses seeing Hongjoong in the library. It’s lonely studying by himself. Yeosang is on crutches, although he says it will probably only be for a day or two, so Seonghwa has stayed with him most of the day, helping him carry his things, but San is still making Yeosang sit in on practice, so Seonghwa sits alone in the library, hardly able to focus on his Calculus homework.  
Someone clears their throat behind him. “Seonghwa?”  
He turns around. “Hongjoong,” He breathes. He clears his throat. “Hi. Did you need help with something?”  
“Yeah... I was going to just text you, but it helps more if you explain in person.”  
Seonghwa smiles softly. “You can sit down.”  
Hongjoong does, pushing a paper in front of Seonghwa.  
Seonghwa looks at it. “Oh, gas laws.”  
“I don’t really get it,” Hongjoong admits. “It’s like PV=nRT, but what does that mean?”  
“Oh,” Seonghwa says, struggling to find words. “Um, the P is for pressure in atm. If they don’t give it to you in atm, you have to convert it, and the V is for volume in liters, n is for the number of moles, and R is a constant you’ll probably have to memorize. It’s 0.0821, I think, and T is the temperature in kelvin. To convert from celsius to kelvin, you just add 273 to the Celsius temperature. Okay?”  
“Yeah... kinda...” Hongjoong says. He looks into Seonghwa’s eyes. “Why are you looking at me like that?”  
“Like what?” Seonghwa asks.  
“Nevermind,” Hongjoong says quickly. “I understand if you’re not ready for a relationship, but can we still be friends? I just… I like spending time with you.”  
“Okay,” Seonghwa agrees, perhaps a bit too hastily. “Anyway, for the first problem, you have to start by converting the pressure from torr to atm. So you can just...”  
Hongjoong barely has time to look down at the paper before a new voice speaks.  
“Joong,” Wooyoung says. “Can I talk to you?”  
“I’m busy right now,” Hongjoong says, his voice cold.  
Seonghwa stands up. “I’ll go.”  
“Hwa, no,” Hongjoong says.  
“I’ll be back,” he promises. “But I think you should talk to Wooyoung. He looks like he needs to tell you something important.”   
Wooyoung pulls up a chair and sits in it, carefully positioning himself three feet from Hongjoong. “I know you hate me,” he says quietly. “And you have every right to. I was a terrible friend, and I was selfish, but I’ve talked with some people and realized some things, and I really need to get this off my chest, so please listen, Joong.” He takes Hongjoong’s silence as an invitation to continue. “I told you to be mean to Seonghwa to make him notice you because I knew it would make him hate you. That was really shitty, and I’m sorry.”  
Hongjoong stares blankly at him. “Wooyoung, you…”  
“I know, Joong. I just… when we were younger and I used to get bullied, you were the only one who protected me, and I was so scared that you would leave me if you started dating Seonghwa, so I lied to keep you away, and that fear turned into anger, and I took that anger out on Seonghwa, and I was wrong, okay? I know it’s not an excuse.” He hangs his head. “I’m trying to be better. I’m sorry, Hongjoong.”  
“Does Seonghwa know about this?”  
Wooyoung nods slowly.  
“Please leave,” Hongjoong says coldly. “I don’t want to see you right now.”  
Wooyoung nods, running a nervous hand through his bleached hair before standing up, grabbing his things and leaving.   
Hongjoong gets up too, weaving through the bookshelves, looking for Seonghwa. Once he finds, he finds Seonghwa, all he can think to do is hug him.  
Seonghwa stands stiffly, surprised. “I take it things didn’t go well with Wooyoung?” He says quietly.  
Hongjoong hums. “I’m sorry you had to suffer for so long,” he mumbles into Seonghwa’s shoulder. “I was inconsiderate and Wooyoung was jealous, and you got caught in the crossfire, and it wasn’t your fault. Hwa, I love you so much.”  
Seonghwa smiles gently. “Hongjoong, it’s okay now.”  
Hongjoong steps back, touching a hand gingerly to Seonghwa’s cheek. “It’s not okay. I hurt you.”  
Seonghwa gently takes Hongjoong’s hands in his own. “Did you want to hurt me?”  
“No,” Hongjoong says, his voice breaking. “I would never want to hurt you.”  
“Then stop beating yourself up,” Seonghwa tells him. “It’s my fault for getting between you and Wooyoung.”  
“Hwa, no. None of this was your fault.”  
Seonghwa doesn’t know if he should believe that.   
“Hwa, do you want to come over? Just to work on homework together and stuff?”  
“I’d like that,” Seonghwa tells him. “But I promised I’d walk Yeosang home. He’s having a hard time carrying his things.”  
“After that, then?” Hongjoong offers.   
Seonghwa nods.   
“And, Hwa?”  
“Yeah?”  
“I don’t want to force you into anything. If you don’t want to date me, I’ll respect that, I promise.”  
Seonghwa sucks in his bottom lip. “I think I just need to wait until all this chaos dies down. I’m really worried about Yeosang, and I just need some time to think.”  
“Okay,” Hongjoong says. “I’ll wait for you at the front of the school. Go help Yeosang.”

… 

Yeosang sits in a folding chair on the field with his calculus textbook open in front of him, but, instead of doing the problems, he’s doodling in the margins of his notebook. His knee aches dully, and he looks at San, who’s reblocking the routine to have people taking his parts and it makes him antsy because he should be there with them.  
Someone sits on the ground next to him. “Sorry about your leg.”  
Yeosang looks down at Wooyoung, dressed in a pair of joggers and an uncomfortably revealing muscle tank. “It’s not your fault,” Yeosang says. “It doesn’t hurt that bad anymore anyway. I’ll be off my crutches the day after tomorrow.”  
“But you won’t be able to perform at nationals,” Wooyoung points out. “Why did you start doing cheer?”  
Yeosang shrugs. “It’s fun and it looks cool. And I want to prove that not all cheerleaders are whores.”  
“You’re really good,” Wooyoung says, leaning back on his hands. “I talked to Hongjoong in the library today.”  
“And?”  
“And he’s mad, but I still feel relieved. He’ll be okay. He has Seonghwa to comfort him.”  
Yeosang looks at Wooyoung, his skin glistening with sweat and his bleached hair tousled. “What were you doing?”  
“Working out. It helps me feel better,” Wooyoung answers.   
“Why did you say that?” Yeosang asks quietly, avoiding Wooyoung’s eyes.   
“Say what?” Wooyoung asks, genuinely confused.   
“Right before I fell,” Yeosang specifies.   
“Oh, that,” Wooyoung says. “I don’t know. I guess I just never really saw you having that much fun before. You were really passionate, and it was just… cute.”  
Yeosang can’t stop himself from blushing because Jung Wooyoung, hot boy extraordinaire, called him cute twice, and this time, he’s not too focused on hurting himself to think too much about it. He clears his throat awkwardly. “I haven’t forgiven you,” he says. “What you did to Seonghwa was terrible.”  
Wooyoung hangs his head. “I know. I’m sorry.”  
“Are you apologizing because you want me to forgive you or because you actually feel regret for hurting Seonghwa?”  
“Because Seonghwa didn’t deserve that.”  
Yeosang stretches his arms behind his head. “Is Hongjoong going to break his heart?”  
Wooyoung shrugs. “I’m not some kind of clairvoyant fortune teller, but if Hongjoong has been stuck on him for this long, I doubt he’ll stop anytime soon.”  
“Seonghwa is my best friend,” Yeosang says. “And we have a pact to protect each other. So, if it comes time, I’ll choose him over you.” 


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So much fluff

Hongjoong rests his head on his hand as he stares at Seonghwa while they sit in his room, working on homework. 

“A saturated solution of potassium nitrate is prepared at 60 degrees Celsius using 100 mL of water. How many grams of solute will

precipitate out of solution if the temperature is suddenly cooled to 30 degrees Celsius?” Seonghwa reads. “You need the graph for this one.” He looks at Hongjoong. “Are you zoning out?”

“I can help it! Your face is more interesting than how many grams will precipitate out of the solution.”

“Joong, you’re adorable, but please.”

“Hwa, If I had a choice between DNA and RNA, I'd choose RNA because it has U in it.”

“Hongjoong…”

“Fine, what am I supposed to do?”

“Look at the graph. How many grams of potassium nitrate per 100 grams of water when the temperature is 60 degrees Celsius?”

“Like 101?”

“Yeah? Now how about when it’s 30 degrees?”

“49 grams.”

“Now subtract them.”

“Can I use a calculator?”

“Come on, you can do that in your head.”

“Hwa, I can’t do 2 plus 2 in my head.”

“Fine, use the calculator.”

Hongjoong punches the numbers into the calculator. “52?” He asks. 

Seonghwa smiles. “Units?”

“Grams of potassium nitrate.”

Seonghwa nods. “I’m proud of you.”

Hongjoong grins. “I'm so strongly attracted to you, scientists will have to discover a fifth fundamental force.”

Seonghwa laughs, blushing. “Hongjoong, really.”

“Hwa, you’re really cute.”

Seonghwa bites his lip before saying, “You must be the acid to my litmus paper because every time I see you I turn red.”

Hongjoong gapes at him. “Hwa… you just…”

Seonghwa blushes, but meets Hongjoong’s gaze. 

“Marry me, Park Seonghwa.”

“I thought you hadn’t finished saving up for the ring,” Seonghwa says. 

Hongjoong sighs. “Okay.”

Seonghwa gently pecks his cheek before resting his head on Hongjoong’s shoulder. He smiles when he sees Hongjoong blush slightly. 

“I think I’m going to cut my hair,” Hongjoong says suddenly.

Seonghwa sits up straight. “Why?”

Hongjoong shrugs. “I’m kind of tired of the mullet look. I might dye it too. What color should I do?”

Seonghwa fiddles with one of his earrings. He hates to admit that he’ll miss the mullet a little. “Red,” he says. “Like bright red. Or maybe more of a coral color.”

“So the color of your face right now.”

Seonghwa crosses his arms. “Don’t bully me.”

Hongjoong leans in for a kiss, but Seonghwa puts a hand over his mouth. 

“You need to get your homework done,” Seonghwa reminds him. He thinks. “I have a proposition. You finish that worksheet without my help, I’ll check it, and, for every problem you get right, I’ll give you a kiss.”

Hongjoong pouts. “You’re a meanie.”

Seonghwa smiles innocently at him. 

Hongjoong sighs and turns back to his worksheet, but rests his non dominant hand lazily on Seonghwa’s thigh. 

Seonghwa tries to ignore it as he pulls out his homework and starts to work on it, but the way Hongjoong drums his fingers against Seonghwa’s leg while he concentrates is hard to ignore. The worst part is Seonghwa isn’t sure whether or not Hongjoong is doing it on purpose. He bites his lip in concentration because he has an essay to write. He loses it when Hongjoong starts rubbing gently circles onto the inside of Seonghwa’s thigh. Seonghwa crosses his legs, moving away from Hongjoong’s hand. 

Hongjoong turns to him looking mildly offended.

Seonghwa pretends not to notice. 

“Hwa, if I ever make you uncomfortable, please tell me.”

“Oh, it’s fine. It wasn’t uncomfortable. Just… distracting.”

“Aw, I’m distracting you?”

“Yeah,” Seonghwa murmurs. “A bit.”

“Mm’kay,” Hongjoong says. “I’ll stop until we’re done.”

Seonghwa grabs Hongjoong’s hand and holds it. “Joong, I’m not mad.”

“I know, Hwa.” He presses his lips to the back of Seonghwa’s hand. 

Seonghwa turns red. “Are you almost done with the worksheet?”

Hanging pulls Seonghwa into his lap. “Who cares?” He asks, combing through Seonghwa’s dark hair.

“I care.” He touches his forehead to Hongjoong’s. “Just do it for me, please. Okay?”

Hongjoong pouts. “Okay.” 

Seonghwa (reluctantly) climbs out of Hongjoong’s lap and back into his own chair, focusing back on his essay. 

… 

After he finishes the essay, he cleans Hongjoong’s room, picking things off the floor and vacuuming the carpet until, after what seems like an eternity, Hongjoong finally says, “I’m done.” It’s hesitant, like he’s scared. 

Seonghwa leans over to look at the paper. He smiles. “You only got one wrong,” he says excitedly. “Number 51 should be 144.19 grams. To get the total moles, you have to multiply the—”

Hongjoong cuts him off with a kiss. 

Seonghwa can’t help but smile against his lips. He gasps slightly when Hongjoong moves down to place a kiss on his neck. His lips are warm and soft against Seonghwa’s skin. 

Seonghwa weaves his hand through Hongjoong’s brown hair, chest filled with warmth. 

“Hwa, you're gorgeous,” Hongjoong tells him. 

“I love you,” Seonghwa responds. He threads his hands through Hongjoong’s hair. “I think you're the gorgeous one.”

Hongjoong grins brightly. “I'm never going to let you go.”

Seonghwa kisses him gently, but with purpose. “Possessive,” he says jokingly when they part. 

Hongjoong pouts. His lips look soft and shiny, slightly swollen from their make-out session. 

Seonghwa gives him a soft smile with equally swollen red lips. “It's okay. It's kind of hot.”

Hongjoong winks. “You're adorable.” His expression turns serious and he swallows. “To be honest, Hwa, you're my first real relationship, and I'm still kind of figuring things out. I'm bad at pacing, and I hardly ever take you out on real dates, but I promise I'll get better. I'll be the boyfriend you always wanted.”

“You already are, Joong,” Seonghwa says softly. “I don't need to go on two ‘proper dates’ a week; I'm happy as long as I'm with you. Don't think you're not good enough. You're the one who always does everything and I just go with the flow all the time. Whenever I try to take initiative, I just get cold feet and back out.”

“Hwa, that's okay. It's just your personality.” He smiles. “I know you love me.”

“Good,” Seonghwa responds, resting his head on Hongjoong's shoulder. 

“Sing for me, Hwa,” Hongjoong says abruptly. 

“Why?” Seonghwa asks. “I'm not a singer.”

“Because I like your voice. And whenever someone sings to me, I get warm fuzzies inside.”

Seonghwa softly starts humming a gentle melody, adding quiet words as he becomes more comfortable with the feeling. 

Hongjoong smiles once he's done. “Your voice is pretty, Hwa.” He sighs. “I like music a lot.”

“Yeah?”

“Wooyoung and I used to have BTS dance parties in his room. Wooyoung likes BTS. It's his embarrassing secret.” He laughs. 

He has a beautiful laugh, Seonghwa thinks. “Do you ever write music?” he asks. 

“Sometimes,” Hongjoong says. “But not to make a career out of it. Just for fun, when something comes to me.”

“I think that's a good outlook,” Seonghwa tells him. “Do you…” he starts after a pause. “Do you miss Wooyoung?”

“I miss the old Wooyoung. Wooyoung from middle school, before he got ruined by his desire for popularity. But why are we talking about Wooyoung?”

Seonghwa shrugs. “Curiosity.”

“Curiosity killed the cat, Hwa.”

Seonghwa pouts. “So I'm not allowed to ask questions?”

Hongjoong pecks his cheek. “You can ask anything you want, I'm just not obliged to answer.”

“That's fair,” Seonghwa agrees. 

“Hwa, you love me, right?”

“I thought that was obvious. Why?”

“Just making sure,” Hongjoong says. 

“I love you, Kim Hongjoong.”

“I love you too, Hwa. I love you to Mars and back.”

…

Yeosang is off his crutches now, but he’s still forbidden from any strenuous physical activity, and it doesn’t make sitting on the side of the feels to watch cheer practice any less boring. The good part is that, when there’s no basketball practices, Wooyong sits with him, and, when there is, Seonghwa comes to keep him company. 

Yeosang rather enjoys Wooyoung’s company; the only problem is that Jung Wooyoung does not seem to know the meaning of the word ‘humility’, and always comes dressed in revealing clothing that shows off his lean but muscular build. One time, he even comes wearing no shirt at all, making it very difficult for Yeosang not to stare. 

“Why is Hongjoong still mad?” He asks after about a week of this routine. 

“You sabotaged his relationship on purpose,” Yeosang reminds him. “Anyone would be mad.”

“He doesn’t believe that I’m sorry,” Wooyoung whines. 

“Not believing and not forgiving are two different things,” Yeosang tells him. 

“Whose side are you on?”

“I’m not taking sides. This is between you and Hongjoong, not me.”

“Yeosang,” Wooyoung says. 

“What?”

“Do you like me?” 

Yeosang sputters. “Where did that come from?”

Wooyoung shrugs. “I don’t know. I’m curious.”

“From an objective standpoint, you’re very attractive.” He puts his hands in his pockets. 

“How objectivity attractive are you on that scale?”

Yeosang shrugs. “Slightly below average.”

“Yeosang, no. You’re… very average.”

Yeosang blinks. “Oh, okay. First I’m cute, now I’m average?”

Wooyoung covers his mouth. “Yeosang, that’s not what I—”

Yeosang shakes his head and stands up. “Forget it.” 

“Yeosang, wait!”

Yeosang frowns. “Tell San I had to leave,” he says before heading back up to the main building. 

...

Yeosang is crying when Seonghwa sees him come into the library. 

Seonghwa stands up and rushes over to his friend while Hongjoong stays sitting, unsure of what to do because he’s fairly sure that Yeosang hates him. 

“Yeosang, what’s wrong?” Seonghwa asks. “What happened? Was San mean to you at practice?” 

Yeosang sniffs and shakes his head. 

“Was it Wooyoung? I’ll kill him.”

Yeosang sobs into Seonghwa’s shoulder. “He… he asked me if I liked him, and I didn’t want to answer that, so Itried to divert the topic of conversation, so I just told him I thought he was objectively attractive, and he was just like, ‘yeah? You’re really average.’ So then I left. Like, even if he thinks that, he shouldn’t say it to my face!”

“Yeosang,” Seonghwa says. “If he thinks that, he’s wrong. You’re so much more than average.”

Hongjoong clears his throat awkwardly from the table. “To be honest,” he starts. “Yeosang, I think you’re pretty cool, and I’ve known Working since we were kids and I know it’s a little hard to believe now, but he’s actually horribly socially inept and, a lot of the time, he says things he doesn’t mean, so I wouldn’t take it too personally.”

“Being socially inept and saying something that's obviously an insult in response to a compliment are completely different things, Kim Hongjoong. I don't want your pity just because you think you're too cool for Wooyoung, and Wooyoung thinks he's too cool for me.”

“Yeosang,” Seonghwa says. “Hongjoong wasn't trying to be rude.”

“I know,” Yeosang murmurs. 

Seonghwa rubs Yeosang’s back comfortingly. “I'll go get you something from the vending machine, okay?”

Yeosang nods and takes a seat at the table opposite Hongjoong. “Sorry for ruining your study date,” he says once Seonghwa is out of earshot. 

Hongjoong blinks. “Don't worry about that. Wooyoung is a dick.”

Yeosang frowns. 

“But,” Hongjoong adds, “He's deeper than you'd expect. He used to get bullied you know. It shattered his self-esteem. He wears revealing clothes and stuff like that because it helps him feel more confident. He doesn't know how to talk to people, especially people he likes. He used to have a crush on San, you know. Now they're best friends, but you should have seen him the first time they talked.” He laughs at the memory. “Maybe he just has a thing for cheerleaders.”

Yeosang giggles, despite himself. 

“Basically,” Hongjoong concludes, “Moral of the story, don't take any of Wooyoung’s insults to heart because most of the time he doesn't mean it, or what he meant to say just came out wrong.”

Yeosang swallows. “Thank you. I… I might have misjudged you. I didn't mean to imply that you don't deserve Seonghwa- well, maybe I did- but I'm glad as long as he's happy.”

“You sound like his parent.”

“Someone needs to take care of him. Parental unconditional love and all that.”

Hongjoong smiles. “I hope things work out with Wooyoung.”

Seonghwa comes in carrying two plastic bottles. He sets them down on the table. “Juice for Yeosang, coffee for Joong.” He sits down. “You two look very serious.”

Yeosang shakes his head. 

“Did you bond over how Jung Wooyoung is a jerk?”

Yeosang sighs. “He’s not a jerk. He’s just…” he looks at Hongjoong. “Socially inept. I’m going to go home. Sorry for interrupting your date.”

“I’m always here for you,” Seonghwa tells him. “Mom friend duties.” He looks at Hongjoong. “Can we adopt him?”

“Sure babe.”

Seonghwa laughs.

Yeosang fake gags, but his chest is warm. “See you both tomorrow,” he says.

  
  



	10. Chapter 10

When Seonghwa approaches his history classroom, the last thing he expects to see is a boy crying outside, but that’s exactly what he sees. The boy is most likely a freshman, and he looks terrified.

Seonghwa bends down beside him, murmuring a quiet, “Hey.”

The boy looks up at him, his face tear-streaked and eyes red. He sniffs, but says nothing.

“Are you okay?” Seonghwa asks gently. “Can I help?”

The boy silently hands him a paper. The heading says ‘World History Chapter 3 Assessment’ and, in red ballpoint pen is scrawled ‘11/50 try harder next time’. He looks at the name written neatly in the corner. 

“Choi Jongho?” He reads. 

The boy nods. “The history teacher… He’s so mean to me. He  _ hates  _ me, and I’m trying my best, I just have terrible test anxiety, and the minute they put a test in front of me I just can’t think,” he sobs.

Seonghwa sits beside him. “That’s okay. You’re what, a freshman? I’m a junior, Park Seonghwa.”

The boy- Jongho- only nods.

“It’s okay,” Seonghwa promises. “Just take some deep breaths.”

“Deep breaths aren’t going to keep me from failing.”

“But they calm you down,” Seonghwa points out. “And I think that’s what you need right now.”

Jongho sniffles.

“Can I tell you a secret?” Seonghwa says.

Jongho nods. 

“I’m tutoring someone in chemistry right now. I failed the first test when I took that class. We had to fill in a blank periodic table. The only one I got right was hydrogen. I got better because my teacher supported me. And if your teacher isn’t going to support you, I will.”

…

Seonghwa enters the library that day with Jongho trailing behind him like a lost puppy. “I’ve adopted another child,” he tells Hongjoong. “Joong, this is Jongho; Jongho, this is Hongjoong.” 

“Hey,” Hongjoong says. “Seonghwa forgot to mention that I’m the love of his life, and that makes me your father.”

“Hi,” is all Jongho says in response, seeming slightly intimidated. 

“Jongho,” Seonghwa says. “Can I see your test again?”

“What, so your boyfriend can make fun of me?”

“No!” Seonghwa says. “So I can know what you’re learning.”

Jongho reluctantly passes him the paper. 

Seonghwa gives the paper to Hongjoong. “Look at him,” Seonghwa tells Jongho. “He’s Kim Hongjoong. He’s mean and scary and intimidating. He’s the test.”

Jongho looks confused. 

“He’s going to read to the questions. If you can answer him, you can answer him, you can answer the test.”

Hongjoong clears his throat. “Who was the first leader of the USSR?”

“Lenin?” Jongho says timidly. 

“You know this stuff,” Hongjoong says. “I need to hear some confidence. Who was the first leader of the USSR?”

“Vladimir Lenin,” Jongho says, firmer this time. 

“What does USSR stand for?”

“United Soviet Socialist Republics.”

Hongjoong grins. “You got this, kid. And remember that, even if you flunk a test, it’s not the end of the world.” 

Yeosang comes into the library and goes straight to Seonghwa. “I’m going to kill Choi San,” he says. “I’m going to kill him, Seonghwa.”

“What happened now?”

“I’m tired of sitting in on practice, it boring and Wooyoung always finds me and says stupid shit.” He notices Jongho. “Woah, who’s this? Is he a freshman? He’s cute.”

“I’m Jongho,” Jongho says. 

“I’m Yeosang. Nice to meet you. I’m here for when you don’t want to third wheel for them.” He nods towards Hongjoong and Seonghwa. 

“Yeosang!” Someone yells from the hallway. 

Yeosang’s eyes widen. “Fuck, that’s Wooyoung.” He runs to hide in the rows of bookshelves just as Wooyoung enters. 

Wooyoung looks from Hongjoong to Seonghwa to Jongho. “Have any of you seen Yeosang?” He points to Yeosang’s backpack that’s sitting on the floor next to the table. “That’s his, right?”

“Jung Wooyoung,” the librarian says. “This is a library. Be quiet and don’t disturb people from their studies.”

Wooyoung grimaces and nods. “Park Seonghwa,” he says, quieter now. “I need to talk to Yeosang.”

“So you can tell him how average he is?”

Wooyoung groans. “I didn’t mean that. I didn’t want to hurt him. He said he was below average, so I tried to tell him that he was wrong, but I got nervous and it came out wrong. I need to fix this for both of us. Please, Seonghwa.”

“I’ll relay your message to him,” Seonghwa says. “That’s the best you’re going to get.” 

…

Yeosang, by this point, knows that Wooyoung practices in the gym after school, whether there's scheduled practice or not, but he only manages to find the courage to go about a week later. When he gets there, the gym is empty besides himself, Wooyoung, and the gym teacher that's sitting on the bleachers, reading a magazine.

He silently watches Wooyoung practice for a while. Wooyoung is wearing  _ that  _ shirt again, the one that's basically just a strip of fabric with a cutout for his head, and Yeosang thinks is much too revealing to be considered socially acceptable. He clears his throat after a while, and Wooyoung turns to him, looking like a deer caught in the headlights. “Yeosang,” he says. 

“Can we talk?” Yeosang asks. 

“I told Seonghwa to tell you--”

“Yeah, he told me. I'm not mad at you, Wooyoung. I just wanted to clarify that.” He sits on the first row of the bleachers. “I understand now. I guess it just never crossed my mind that you would get tongue-tied.”

Wooyoung laughs breathily, but it sounds forced. 

“Hongjoong said you used to like San.”

Wooyoung smiles. “Yeah. I mean… you know him. He's really hot. And he's a good kisser. We had a good run, until he dumped me.”

“He dumped you?”

“Yeah. Said he needed to focus on cheer and didn't want to commit to a relationship.”

“Do you only like people based on how hot they are and how good they can kiss?”

“Not always. But you know San, his entire personality is being hot. Like, Seonghwa is pretty, you're cute, but San is  _ hot _ .”

Yeosang swallows his irritation. “You're doing it again.”

“Doing what?”

“Saying the wrong thing.”

“I was just trying to make conversation!”

“Everyone knows that San is better than me at everything. Better at cheer, better, grades. I don't need to hear you go on about his sex appeal or whatever while you act like I'm some cute little virgin who will never be good enough.” He holds his head in his hands. 

“Yeosang,” Wooyoung says, sitting beside him. “I didn't mean it like that. I just… I don't know if I'm over him yet.” He balls his fists. “I thought he loved me. I thought someone loved me. I wanted someone to love me like Hongjoong loves Seonghwa. San was… not that person, but, sometimes, I still want him to be.”

Yeosang’s heart throbs in his chest, but he puts his arm around Wooyoung’s shoulders anyway. San is hot and charismatic-- two things Yeosang will never be. “I'm here for you,” Yeosang tells him. “Whenever you need someone that's not San, I'm here.”

“Yeosang…” Wooyoung starts. “Are we friends?”

“We are now,” Yeosang smiles. 

… 

Jongho warms up to them rather quickly. He comes to sit in the library with them, and, when Seonghwa asks him how his day was, he always replied with, “It was fine, Mom.” He sits and studies silently while Seonghwa helps Hongjoong with chemistry, or, when Hongjoong is at sports practice, Seonghwa makes him do dramatic readings of ‘Hamlet’ to ‘boost his confidence’, though Jongho is pretty sure it’s just for Seonghwa’s entertainment.

One day, the four of them are sitting at their usual table, when Hongjoong gets a call. He answers it without telling the rest of them who it is.

“Hi,” he says. “What’s wrong? Really? No. No. Okay. I will. Bye.” he puts the phone down and looks at Yeosang. “That was San,” he says. “He says you haven’t been to practice for two days.”

Yeosang looks down guiltily, suddenly becoming very interested in picking at his fingernails.

“He said to ask if you were mad at him or if you were sick or something.”

Yeosang swallows. “I just had an awkward conversation with Wooyoung, most of which was him talking about how hot San is, so I’m just in a good enough mental state to go there and feel worse than San some more.” He sighs. “San is just… perfect. He’s like me, but better in every way. Even his name is cooler. Choi San has a ring to it and Kang Yeosang is a boring name. I… I wish I were San.”

Hongjoong doesn’t speak. Neither does Seonghwa.

“But you’re not San,” Jongho says. “You’re Yeosang. You’re nicer than San. And less…” he trails off, gesturing helplessly.

“Less of a slut?” Hongjoong suggests. 

“He’s not a slut,” Yeosang says. “He’s my friend. We just have a… mild rivalry.”

“This rivalry is in your head, Yeosang,” Hongjoong tells him. “San is worried about you. He feels guilty about your leg, and he’s worried that you hate him and want to quit the team. Don’t ruin your friendship over Jung Wooyoung.”

“But,” Yeosang. “You and Seonghwa are so happy together. I want that happiness too. You don’t think I deserve it.”

Seonghwa cuts in. “I think that there are other fish in the sea. San is important to you, and you’re important to him. You’re teammates. That’s a good friendship. It’s harder to find a friend like that than a guy like Wooyoung.”

Yeosang swallows. “I’ll go on Friday.”

“Wait,” Jongho says. “I’m kind of confused. Does Yeosang like Wooyoung? But Wooyoung likes San? And San has commitment issues?”

“Basically,” Yeosang sighs. “But you can’t tell anyone. It’s humiliating.” He says it even though he knows that Jongho isn’t one for gossip.

Jongho makes an ‘okay’ sign with his fingers. “Don’t worry. You can trust me.”

… 

Thursday 6:43 PM

San:  _ Yeosang, can you come to practice early tomorrow? _

San:  _ I feel like you’re mad about something and we should talk _

San:  _ You’re my friend. I’m here for you _

San:  _ Yeosang? _

_ Read 6:51 PM _


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wrote this instead of the essay i was supposed to be writing oops

“What does it matter what Wooyoung thinks? I thought you didn’t like him because he was mean to Seonghwa.”

Yeosang swallows. “I guess I just care too much what people think. I wish I could just brush things off like you do.”

“No matter what you do, people will judge you,” San says. “So you should just embrace who you are. It took me too long to learn that. We’ve all been hurt. Me, Wooyoung, you. But you have Seonghwa and Hongjoong and that freshman they adopted, and you have me. Who cares about Wooyoung. He’s my friend, but he’s kind of insensitive sometimes. I know that.”

“Everyone tells me that, but I just don’t understand how you got him to like you.”

“Do you…” San starts softly, “like Wooyoung?”

“Why is everyone so surprised? It’s really obvious.”

San laughs. “Yeosang, Wooyoung isn’t hung up on me because he likes me, it’s because he hates the fact that he was dumped.”

“That’s not what he said.”

“Wooyoung is someone who thrives on affection. He needs to know that he’s loved. He doesn’t love me, he just wants me to love him. He’s a great friend, but we weren’t meant to be with each other.”

Yeosang sighs. “I’m so selfish, aren’t I?”

San shakes his head. “Honestly, Yeosang, you’re the most selfless person I know. I’d say you just have to let Wooyoung warm up to you. He’s kind of shy, actually.” He squeezes Yeosang’s hand. “But I also wanted to ask you if you wanted to help me re choreograph the routine? You are the five captain, and I could use some help.”

“Sure,” Yeosang says, smiles.

“By the way, how’s Hongjoong doing? I haven’t talked to him ever since he and Wooyoung fell out. I miss talking to him.”

“I’ll tell him that.”

…

Seonghwa has found a new hobby of cleaning Hongjoong’s room. Maybe it’s partly because messy rooms remind him too much of his dad’s apartment.

“Hwa,” Hongjoong says Friday night. “I’m done with my homework. Do you want to get something for dinner?”

“Just a second,” Seonghwa says. “Let me vacuum first.”

“Babe, you don’t have to clean my room.”

“Your room is very messy all the time, and it bothers me.”

“Okay,” Hongjoong. “I’m not complaining, I just hate to think that I’m forcing more work onto you.”

“You’re not, Joong.”

“Okay. I’m going to go the the kitchen and get a snack or something.”

Hongjoong is gone far too long to just be getting a snack, and terrified thoughts begin to run through his head. What if Hongjoong died? What if Hongjoong is avoiding him? What if Hongjoong is angry? What if Hongjoong wants to break up?

“Hey,” Hongjoong interrupts from the doorway, so suddenly it makes Seonghwa jump and almost fall over. “Are you okay?” Hongjoong asks. “You look pale.”

Seonghwa nods. “I’m fine. What took you so long?”

Hongjoong blushes. “I… I wanted to be a good boyfriend and cook for you, but I can’t cook, so I resorted to microwave food.” He looks at his feet. “Sorry.”

Seonghwa hugs him. “Don’t be sorry. I appreciate the thought more than anything.”

Hongjoong smiles sheepishly before kissing Seonghwa gently. “I made you ramyun. Instant, but i cut up some vegetables and put them in there. I tried to make you cookies, but I burned them.”

“I’ll still eat them,” Seonghwa promises. He takes the bowl Hongjoong hands to him. 

“Do you want to watch a movie?” Hongjoong asks. 

Seonghwa honestly couldn’t care less about whatever movie they’re watching. He just enjoys the feeling of Hongjoong’s arms around him. Hongjoong keeps pressing gentle kisses to his lips, and it makes Seonghwa feel warm and fuzzy inside. He still hasn’t quite gotten accustomed to the feeling of kissing Hongjoong. It feels right, but it hasn’t lost its original spark. 

“I don’t deserve you,” Hongjoong whispers against his lips. 

“Yes, you do,” Seonghwa tells him. “You’ve worked hard for this relationship.”

“I’ve also worked hard for my chemistry grade.”

“You have,” Seonghwa agrees. 

Hongjoong takes a folded piece of paper out of his pocket and hands it to Seonghwa, who squints at it. “Not perfect, but—”

“Ninety six petcent? That’s amazing, Joong.”

Hongjoong grins. “Are you proud?” He shifts his position to lay down with this head resting on Seonghwa’s lap. 

Seonghwa blushes at the gesture of affection, and combs through Hongjoong’s hair with his fingers. 

Hongjoong smiles contently. “Hwa, you’re too pretty. It should be a crime. You need to share.”

Seonghwa laughs. “I think you’re biased.”

“Hey, Hwa.”

“Yeah?”

“Wanna help me dye my hair?”

…

Hongjoong with red hair is a look, and, for once, Seonghwa is the one who has trouble focusing on Chemistry after school. He’s just glad that Yeosang is at cheer practice and not here to make fun of him for being whipped.

“Hwa,” Hongjoong says. “How do you name acids? I don’t get it. Why is this one Carbonic acid, but this one is hydrochloric acid?”

Seonghwa blinks. “Acids? I… um… when the hydrogen in front is singular, you but ‘hydro’ in front. It’s hydrochloric because it's HCl and carbonic acid is H2CO3.”

“So this one, number four, it’s sulfuric acid?”

“Yeah,” Seonghwa says. “Wait, no. No. It’s sulfurous acid because sulfate is SO4, but this is SO3, so it’s sulfite. ‘-ic’ goes with ‘-ate’ and ‘-ous’ goes with ‘-ite’.”

“You okay?” Hongjoong says. “You seem distracted.”

Seonghwa blushes. “You look really good.”

Hongjoong grins.

“Quiet,” Seonghwa tells him.

“I didn’t say anything,” Hongjoong defends.

“Stop being so cute; it’s disgusting,” Jongho says from the other side of the table. “But your hair does look nice, Hongjoong.”

“Thank you,” Hongjoong says. “Hwa has a future career as a hairdresser.”

“I’d like to think my intellectual genius will earn me a more prestigious career,” Seonghwa says. “But thank you.”

“You do have a dizzying intellect,” Hongjoong tells him. 

“I’m done,” Jongho says. “I’m going to find Yeosang. I don’t want to see my parents flirt.”

…

Hongjoong never thought he would find himself doing this, but he doesn’t want to stay mad at Wooyoung forever when he remembers the bond they used to have.

1:54 AM

Hongjoong: hey

Hongjoong: Can we talk

Wooyoung: yeah

Hongjoong: I thought you would say no, so I didn’t actually get this far oops

Wooyoung: you’re a fucking idiot

Hongjoong: I know

Hongjoong: I miss hanging out with you

Wooyoung: me too

Wooyoung: I’m glad you’re doing well with Seonghwa

Wooyoung: you two are cute together

Hongjoong: aw thanks

Hongjoong: how are things going with you?

Wooyoung: I don’t know

Wooyoung: I feel really guilty and I don’t know how to fix it

Hongjoong: you can’t fix it

Hongjoong: but you can work on earning forgiveness

Wooyoung: … 

Hongjoong: Seonghwa has… well he hasn’t forgiven you fully, but he deals with you because you’re friends with Yeosang

Hongjoong: I guess I texted you because you deserve an apology from me as much as I deserve one from you

Hongjoong: i didn’t mean to ignore you for seonghwa and i didn’t mean to imply that you didn’t matter to me because that’s not true, not by a long shot

Wooyoung: okay

Hongjoong: I’m sorry

Wooyoung: me too 

Hongjoong: can we try to be friends again?

Read 2:02 AM

2:16 AM

Wooyoung: sorry I just needed a moment

Hongjoong: it’s okay

Wooyoung: I just feel like you have a group now and I don’t want to mess that up

Wooyoung: Besides, what about San?

Hongjoong: We merge into one big group. 

Wooyoung: That has to be just about the worst idea you’ve ever had. 

… 

4:33 PM

Hongjoong added Seonghwa

Hongjoong added Yeosang

Hongjoong added Jongho

Hongjoong added Wooyoung 

Hongjoong added San

Hongjoong named the chat ‘fam’

Hongjoong: hey everyone 

Seonghwa: what the fuck joong

Hongjoong changed Seonghwa’s name to ‘babe<3’

Wooyoung: I’m sorry Seonghwa 

Wooyoung: I told him it was a bad idea

Hongjoong changed

Hongjoong changed Wooyoung’s name to ‘bully’

Bully: rude

San: I’m confused

Hongjoong changed San’s name to ‘montaña’

Yeosang: I’m scared

Hongjoong changed Yeosang’s name to ‘no filter’

Hongjoong changed Jongho’s name to ‘fetus’

Fetus: I feel attacked

Bully: welcome to the club

Bully: why won’t it let me change Hongjoong’s name??

Hongjoong: *evil laughter* I created the chat

babe<3 has left the chat

Hongjoong added babe<3 to the chat

Hongjoong: there’s no escape hwa

babe<3: :(((

Hongjoong: friday my house

Hongjoong: be there or be square 

montaña: …why?

montaña: are you going to ambush me and wooyoung? 

montaña: yeosang save us

no filter: wooyoung deserves it

no filter: but ill spare you san

montaña: my hero 

babe<3: I’ll be square i guess

Hongjoong: hwa you’re supposed to be on my side!!

fetus: ill come

bully: ill come if you change my name from bully

Hongjoong: done

Hongjoong changed bully’s name to ‘thot’

thot: … 

thot: i hate you

…

There’s cheer and basketball practice on Friday, so it’s just Seonghwa and Jongho. 

“We need hobbies,” Jongho says. 

“Don’t bully your mother.” 

Jongho pouts. “I have a test Monday,” he says, his tone taking on a dejected sort of sound. 

“What class?”

“History. But it's a map test, and I'm horrified with geography. We have to label every country in Europe. The only one I got right on the practice test was Russia.”

“Well, there are 44 countries in Europe, so each country is worth…” he tries to do the math in his head. “2.3 percent, or something like that, so you need to get 26 questions right to pass. You're smart, Jongho. You can do this.”

Jongho sighs. 

Seonghwa takes Jongh’s hand and writes ‘you've got this’ across Jongho’s palm in black sharpie. 

Jongho smiles. “Thanks.” 

“Any time. I believe in you.”

“On another topic, what do you think about the whole thing with the group chat?” Jongho asks. 

“I don't know,” Seonghwa says honestly. “I understand what he's going and why he's doing it, but it's just a lot right now with everything. Not to mention, it's painfully awkward. The only thing we all have in common is Hongjoong. Wooyoung doesn't like me, and I've honestly never spoken to San, so it's really weird. I guess he's trying to make us get together for that reason, so we can get over the awkwardness, but I think he should slow down and not try to force it so much.”

“Both practices end in six minutes,” Jongho informs him. They'll be here soon.”

Seonghwa takes a deep breath. “It's going to be okay. We've got this.”

“I hope so,” Jongho says in response. 

“Hey!” Hongjoong says when he comes into the library with Wooyoung a couple minutes later. “How’s my favorite person?”

“I’m well, thanks for asking,” Jongho says. 

Wooyoung lets out a bark of laughter. He gives Jongho a grin. “You’re funny.”

“I try,” Jongho says.

Hongjoong sits, resting his arm around Seonghwa’s shoulders. “Yeosang and San should be here soon.”

“Hongjoong,” Seonghwa says. “I’m really not sure about this.”

“Trust me, Hwa. Just give it a chance.”

Seonghwa sighs. “Okay.”


	12. Chapter 12

“Let me get this straight,” Wooyoung says. “You invited us all over to your house… so we could watch High School Musical 2?”  
Hongjoong offers a sheepish smile. “I couldn’t find the first one.”  
Wooyoung sighs. “That is—”  
“A great idea,” San interrupts. “Best movie.”   
“I agree with San,” Jongho says.   
“High School Musical sucks,” Wooyoung protests.   
San puts a hand on his chest in an exaggerated gesture of offense. “This friendship is over.”  
“You have no taste,” Wooyoung tells him.   
“I said I’d trust Hongjoong,” Seonghwa says, resigning himself to his fate.  
“So,” San says. “We kick Wooyoung out and watch High School Musical 2?”  
“I think San is my platonic soulmate,” Honjoong says.   
San grins and drapes his arm over Jongho’s shoulders. “HSM squad assemble!”  
“I can’t believe people think Hongjoong is cool,” Yeosang whispers to Seonghwa. “He’s such a nerd.”  
Seonghwa’s lips turn up at the ends. “I love him.”   
“I know you do.”  
“Gross,” Wooyoung says, but, this time, Seonghwa knows that he’s joking.   
“Yeosang, Hwa, why don’t you see Wooyoung out?” Hongjoong says.   
“Okay,” Yeosang says without missing a beat, starting to push Wooyoung back towards the front door.   
“Well,” Seonghwa says. “I guess that’s a one man job.” He winks discreetly at Yeosang.   
Yeosang glares at him. 

… 

Wooyoung and Yeosang sit on the front porch of Hongjoong’s house.   
“Is something wrong?” Yeosang asks after a couple minutes of slightly ominous silence.  
Wooyoung purses his lips. “I guess… I guess I just see Hongjoong and Seonghwa, and they’re so sickeningly cute together, and I want a relationship like that.”  
“With San?”  
“I don’t know,” Wooyoung admits. “I just don’t understand why he dumped me.”  
“Do you love him?”  
“I don’t know,” Wooyoung says again. “Used to think so, but I met this other boy. He’s really cute and nice and I like him a lot, but I’m scared because I haven’t really let go of San yet and I don’t want to hurt him.” He looks at Yeosang, who just stares back obliviously. “Yeosang, I…” he subconsciously finds hims leaning forward so his face is only inches away from Yeosang’s, but, before their lips can touch, someone calls out, “Hey, are you guys locked out?”  
Wooyoung looks up to see two boys. They’re holding hands- obviously a couple- but they look genuinely concerned. The one who talked starts towards them. Wooyoung notices quickly that this boy is very tall.   
“Hey,” the boy. “Um, I live next door. If you’re locked out, you can come over until someone else comes to let you in.”  
“Oh, it’s okay,” Wooyoung says. “We just needed some fresh air.” He looks up at the boy. “Wait, I know you?”  
“You do?” The boy asks. “You probably mistook me for someone. It happens a lot.” He smiles and salutes. “Song Mingi. This is my boyfriend, Yunho.”  
Yunho waves.   
“Do you play basketball?” Wooyoung asks.   
“Yes…?” Mingi says slowly.   
“You’re that tall kid who kept blocking me!”   
“Oh,” Mingi says, grinning. “I remember you now. Small world, huh?”  
“I don’t know if you remember Hongjoong. Short guy with a mullet? Well, the mullet is gone now, but anyway, this is his house. They’re watching High School Musical or something. You can come in if you want. He won’t mind. He loves people.”  
“This Hongjoong,” Yunho says. “Is he dating someone named Seonghwa?”  
“Yes,” Wooyoung says. “They’re disgustingly cute together.” He opens the door and calls inside. “Hongjoong! We found friends!”  
Hongjoong comes to the front door with Seonghwa by his side. “I paused in the middle of a song for this.”  
“Yunho?” Seonghwa says.  
Yunho waves. “My boyfriend lives next door.”  
“Do you want to watch High School Musical?” Hongjoong asks. “Seonghwa has never seen it before. His reactions are really funny. And there’s plenty of food.”  
“Told you,” Wooyoung says.   
That’s how the eight of them end up squished together on Hongjoong’s couch.   
Seonghwa is curled up against Hongjoong’s side, watching as his boyfriend sings along to all the songs. Even though they’ve been dating for a while now, he finds himself weirdly self-conscious about being affectionate in front of their friends. Yunho and Mingi obviously don’t have the same problem.   
“You good?” Hongjoong asks. “Want something to drink? Water?”  
Seonghwa shakes his head. “Thanks, but I’m okay. Just a bit overwhelmed.”  
Hongjoong kisses his forehead. “You’re so pretty, Hwa.”  
Seonghwa blushes and bites his lip.   
“Hey,” Hongjoong says. “Are you okay? Do you want to talk about it?”  
“Maybe later.”   
“No, we should talk now if someone is making you upset.”  
“But you wanted to watch the movie,” Seonghwa says.   
Hongjoong sighs. “I don’t care about the damn movie, Hwa. I’ve seen it a million times. I care about you. Talk to me.”  
“I just…” Seonghwa starts. “I don’t want you to take this the wrong way.”  
Hongjoong looks nervous, and Seonghwa immediately regrets saying that. “I’m not embarrassed of you, but being affectionate in front of other people makes me feel weird, I guess. I don’t care if people know that we’re together, but, kiss me and stuff… it just makes me nervous and like… vulnerable, and I only feel comfortable being that way in front of you.”   
“Okay,” Hongjoong says. “I understand. Are hugs okay?”  
Seonghwa nods.   
Hongjoong pulls him close and sings to the music. “I’m not gonna stop, that’s who I am...” He has a surprisingly nice voice.   
San, Mingi and Jongho join in and suddenly the four of them are dancing around the living room having the time of their lives.   
“Why am I here?” Wooyoung groans.   
Hongjoong hugs him. “Because you love us.”  
Seonghwa’s phone beeps with a text from Yeosang, which is odd because they’re sitting next to each other.   
Yeosang: help  
Yeosang: i think wooyoung tried to kiss me  
Seonghwa: what? when?  
Yeosang: while we were outside. It was really weird.  
Seonghwa: details  
Yeosang: he was like, ‘i have this guy that I like but I don’t want to hurt him’ and I couldn’t tell whether or not he was talking about me?  
Yeosang: pretty sure it was wishful thinking on my part  
Yeosang: but then he started leaning in and i was like ‘oh my god is he going to kiss me?’  
Yeosang: and then we saw Yunho and Mingi.   
Seonghwa: he definitely likes you  
Yeosang: btw what were you talking about with Hongjoong before   
Seonghwa: nothing important   
“Hwa, how could you be on your phone when the greatest movie ever made is playing right in front of you?” Hongjoong asks.   
Seonghwa tucks his phone back into his pocket. “You left me,” he says. “I’m lonely.”  
“I need to sing my heart out.   
“You’re leaving us out because we don’t know the words,” Seonghwa says with a fake pout.   
“Oh, Wooyoung knows the words. He just hates it,” Hongjoong laughs.   
Wooyoung groans. “I want to go home.”

… 

Hongjoong has added Yunho to the chat  
Hongjoong has added Mingi to the chat  
Hongjoong changed Mingi’s name to ‘eardrum murderer’  
Hongjoong has changed Yunho’s name to ‘tall child’  
thot: welcome to this hellhole  
eardrum murderer: LETSSS GOOOOOO  
babe<3: why could I hear that  
montaña: wooyoung is exagerating   
montaña: this chat is kinda fun  
thot: maybe it would be fun if my name wasn’t thot  
tall child: these chat names are throwing me off who is everyone?  
thot: wooyoung   
montaña: san  
babe<3: seonghwa  
no filter: yeosang  
fetus: jongho  
Hongjoong: Hongjoong   
thot: no shit hongjoong   
Hongjoong: :))))  
thot: anyways leave while you can  
thot has left the chat  
Hongjoong added thot to the chat  
thot: god fucking dammit  
thot: Seonghwa talk some sense into your boyfriend   
babe<3: and why would I do you a favor?  
thot: because you hate this as much as I do  
babe<3: false  
babe<3: I enjoy watching you suffer  
Hongjoong: I love you hwa ╰(*´︶`*)╯♡

… 

Hongjoong wakes up early Saturday morning to Seonghwa curled against his side. The older looks peaceful in his slumber, his dark hair fanned out across the pillow, his lips slightly parted. He smiles at his boyfriend before picking up his phone and checking his unread messages.   
Wooyoung: help I think I like Yeosang  
Wooyoung: I almost kissed him last night and now I don't know what to do  
Wooyoung: hello? I'm freaking the fuck out over here  
Wooyoung: are you still asleep?  
Hongjoong: Kim Hongjoong reporting for duty  
Wooyoung: about fucking time  
Wooyoung: what do I do?  
Hongjoong: he likes you too  
Hongjoong: tell him Monday   
Wooyoung: I can't wait that long!  
Wooyoung: the anticipation is killing me  
Hongjoong: then call him  
Hongjoong: anyway I just need to talk for a second   
Hongjoong: about Seonghwa's ethereal beauty  
Wooyoung: ‘etheral’   
Wooyoung: you sound like an idiot  
Hongjoong: he's so prettyyyyyy   
Hongjoong: Wooyoung help I love him  
Wooyoung: I am aware  
Wooyoung: but I'm prettier   
Hongjoong: JUNG WOOYOUNG HOW DARE YOU  
Hongjoong: take that back  
Hongjoong: your ugly mug is incomparable  
Wooyoung: rude :(((((  
Hongjoong: good luck with Yeosang  
Hongjoong: didn't say anything stupid  
Hongjoong: if you make Yeosang cry hwa will murder you  
Wooyoung: I know  
Wooyoung: I would murder me too   
Hongjoong: you got this  
Seonghwa stirs and Hongjoong looks down at him.   
“‘Morning, Hwa,” Hongjoong says when Seonghwa groggily opens his eyes.   
Seonghwa pulls the covers over his head. “It's so bright,” he grumbles.  
“It's noon,” Hongjoong tells him. “But Wooyoung is planning to confess to Yeosang.”  
“What?” Seonghwa says, suddenly very awake. “I thought he liked San.”  
“Apparently not.”  
Seonghwa rubs his eyes. “I just hope he's sincere about it.”  
“Oh, he is. He's freaking out about it.” He swings his legs off the bed and stands up. “Breakfast?” He asks Seonghwa.   
“Okay,” Seonghwa agrees. 


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> just a note: everything in italics is a flashback

Wooyoung is not okay. He paces his room, muttering under his breath, trying to figure out how to do this because one does not simply _ confess to Kang Yeosang _ . “I’m not good enough for him,” Wooyoung mutters. “I’m going to fuck it up and Seonghwa will kill me. And Hongjoong will let him.” He lies down on the floor in complete and utter defeat. “It was easier when I liked San,” he says, and that’s saying something, knowing all the nights he cried over San. 

He takes out his phone and calls San for lack of a better idea.

“Wooyoung, what’s up?”

“San!”

“You sound… like you’re not okay,” San says, voice crackling through the phone. “What happened?”

“I like Yeosang,” Wooyoung whines rolling over on the floor. “And I don’t know how to tell him.”

“Just be honest.”

“Well that certainly didn’t work with you.” Wooyoung sighs. “San, if I die, it was Seonghwa. And possibly Hongjoong as an accomplice.”

“Please, Hongjoong wouldn’t hurt a fly. And, if Seonghwa kills you, you deserved it.”

“Choi San, you’re not helping!”

“Well, what do you want me to say?”

“Oh, forget it,” Wooyoung mutters, hanging up. He shouldn’t have called San. It’s making him feel worse, wanting to chicken out.

… 

_ “Hongjoong, he’s really pretty,” Wooyoung whispers from where they sit on the bleachers, watching the cheer team perform. _

_ “Who?” Hongjoong asks. _

_ “I don’t know his name. The blonde one.” _

_ “Choi San?” _

_ Wooyoung sighs at the name. “He’s so pretty, Hongjoong. Is he out of my league?” _

_ “Everyone is out of your league.” _

_ “Shut up. I didn’t ask for your opinion.” _

_ “Actually, you did,” Hongjoong points out. “But I would come to me for advice, seeing as Seonghwa hates me.” _

_ Wooyoung suddenly feels a little guilty asking Hongjoong for help when he purposely messed up Hongjoong’s chances with his crush of two years. _

_ “Just talk to him,” Hongjoong advises. “Be yourself, you know. I don’t know much about him. He’s in my history class. He doesn’t have many friends.” _

_ Wooyoung looks back to San. He truly is beautiful. His hair looks soft despite being bleached, and his jawline is nicely defined. His eyes sparkle when he smiles. _

_ Wooyoung goes to him after the performance. “Hey,” he says. _

_ San turns around. “Hi?” He looks confused. “I don’t think we’ve met.” _

_ “Um, I’m Wooyoung. Jung Wooyoung. I just wanted to say that your performance was really good.” _

_ San smiles. “Thank you.” _

_ Wooyoung blushes slightly. “You must have worked really hard.” _

_ San nods. “Oh, I’m San, by the way.” _

“ _San,” Wooyoung says._

_ “San!” Someone calls. They look to see a cute brown-haired boy looking at San desperately. _

_ “Yeosang, you can go ahead,” San says. “I’ll be right there.” He turns back to Wooyoung. “That was Yeosang. He’s the vice captain. He helped me a lot with the routine.” _

_ “Cool,” Wooyoung says. _

_ “Anyway, I should get going. I’ll see you around, I guess?” _

_ “Can I have your number?” Wooyoung blurts. He blushes at his own outburst. “I mean—” _

_ San giggles. “Sure.” _

_ Wooyoung is whipped. He’s been dating Choi San for about three months now, finding him after cheer practice. San has started eating lunch with him and Hongjoong, and it just feels like they were meant to be together. _

_ Until one day, San doesn’t show up to lunch. _

_ “I know he’s here,” Hongjoong says. “He was in class today. He even said, ‘see you at lunch’.” _

_ “I’ll go look for him,” Wooyoung says. _

_ “I’ll help,” Hongjoong offers. “We can split up. I’ll text you updates.” _

_ Wooyoung is running, breathing hard, his lungs burning because what if something happened to San? The logical piece of his brain tells him to calm down, that San is probably fine, that he’s meeting with a teacher or something and forgot to text saying he’d be late, but his gut can’t shake the feeling that something happened. _

_ He finds San behind the science building, but he’s not alone. He’s surrounded by two boys Wooyoung recognizes from the basketball team, and a girl Wooyoung doesn’t know. _

_ “You think you can just waltz in and date Jung Wooyoung?” The girl says. _

_ One of the boys grabs San by the hair. San tries to scream. But the boy covers his mouth.  _

_ “You’re nobody,” the girl says. “You don’t belong with him. You don’t deserve him.” _

_ Wooyoung runs over and punches the guy holding San. “Don’t touch him,” he practically growls. _

_ San collapses to the ground, crying. _

_ The boy holds his cheek where Wooyoung punched him. _

_ “Wooyoung!” The girl says. “We didn’t mean… we were just playing around.” _

_ “Get out of my sight,” Wooyoung says, his voice low. _

_ They don’t have to be told twice. _

_ Wooyoung bends down and puts his arm around San’s shoulders. “Are you okay?” He asks softly. _

_ San doesn’t answer. He just cries. _

_Wooyoung holds him. “San, I… I’m so s_ orry. _I didn’t know. Is this the first time this has happened?”_

_ San shakes his head, wiping his eyes. _

_ “San, I didn’t— I’ll make sure this never happens again. I’ll turn them in, I—” _

_ “Wooyoung,” San says, his voice choked. “I think we should just end this.” _

_ “What?” Wooyoung says. _

_ “You’re a great person,” San tells him. “And I enjoy spending time with you, but I don’t really like you romantically, so, by keeping this going, I’m hurting both of us, so I think it would be better if we were just friends.” _

_ “I… okay,” Wooyoung says, trying to keep his voice calm and even, even though, inside, it feels like his heart has shattered into a million pieces. “Let’s go to lunch,” he says. _

_ Wooyoung cries himself to sleep that night. _

…

  
  


Wooyoung sits on the floor with his phone opened to Yeosang’s contact. It’s only after ten minutes that he finally gets the courage to press the call button.

“Hey,” Yeosang says. “Wooyoung?”

“Hi,” Wooyoung says, feeling slightly queasy. “Um… would you… I have some stuff I want to talk about. Do you want to meet me for coffee tomorrow.”

“Um, let me check me schedule really quick.” He’s silent for a moment then says, “I’m free before four. Does noon work?”

“Yeah,” Wooyoung says. “Thanks.” He hangs up and sees a new text from San.

San: have you talked to him yet?

San: what did you say?

San: did you die?

Wooyoung: i called him

Wooyoung: we’re getting coffee tomorrow 

San: so you’re dating now?????

Wooyoung: no, I haven’t told him yet

Wooyoung: I'm going to tell him tomorrow

San: so you just said ‘we need to talk’?

Wooyoung: yeah basically 

San: YOU IDIOT

San: AFJZUNXI

San: he probably thinks it's a bad thing

Wooyoung: HOW THE FUCK WAS I SUPPOSED TO KNOW THAT????

San: you’re hopeless

… 

Wooyoung gets there first, so he gets in line to order a drink. 

Yeosang runs into the cafe five minutes, breathing heavily. He spots Wooyoung sitting at a table and rushes to sit down across from him. “Sorry, I’m late,” he says. “I slept through my alarm.”

“It’s past noon.”

“And?”

“That’s valid,” Wooyoung says, laughing. “Anyway, I just wanted to talk. There’s um… something I want to tell you.” He takes a breath. “It’s not a bad thing,” he clarifies quickly. 

“Okay,” Yeosang says. 

“Well, after San broke up with me, I was really hurt for a long time, and I didn’t want to be attached to someone that way ever again, but I think I'm finally ready to admit that I… I like you.” He sighs, having finally got the words out after so long. 

“Oh,” Yeosang says. “That was not what I was expecting you to say at all.”

“What were you expected?”

“I was… I was kind of worried that you knew that I like you, and you called me out here you reject me.”

“I’m not that mean,” Wooyoung says, pouting. “Besides, you thought I didn’t like you after I tried to kiss you on friday?”

Yeosang covers his face, blushing. “I didn't know if…” he trails off. “I'm happy that you trust me enough to tell me about San. That means a lot, because I know it must be a sore subject for you.”

Wooyoung manages a smile. “I really like you, Kang Yeosang.”

“I really like you too,” Yeosang responds. 


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Good luck to everyone affected by covid-19 i know a lot of schools and workplaces are closing so everyone please stay safe!

Yeosang: Wooyoung asked me out

Yeosang: I'm going to die 

Seonghwa: I'm happy for you

Seonghwa: we can go on double dates now

Seonghwa turns to look at Hongjoong. “Wooyoung really got his shit together,” he says. 

“Finally,” Hongjoong says, laying down on his bed. He pats the mattress next to him. “Come here?”

Seonghwa sits down beside him. “Yes?”

“I guess I've just been thinking a lot lately about what happened between Wooyoung and San, and it makes me nervous, and sometimes, I just need to hold you to know that you're really here with me.” He looks vulnerable, his eyes wide and his hand holding tight to Seonghwa’s. 

Hongjoong stands. “I should shower,” he says. 

“Mmkay,” Seonghwa hums, letting himself sink down onto the mattress. Hongjoong bed has always felt comforting to him because Hongjoong’s house feels like home. Hongjoong's parents cook for him and give him hugs and treat him like he was their son, and those moments spread warmth through Seonghwa's body. He curls up under the comforter, the soft blanket enveloping him, comforting him, making him feel safe and warm, and the sensation eventually puts him to sleep. 

Seonghwa wakes up to the early morning light streaming through the window, casting shadows across the floor of the room. He starts to stretch carelessly before remembering that it's Monday and deflating at the realization. Hongjoong is still sleeping peacefully, and Seonghwa looks over to the clock to read 5:47 AM. Seonghwa groans and falls back onto the pillows. He hates his mental alarm clock sometimes. He sluggishly rolls over and out of bed and watches for a moment as Hongjoong, in his unconscious state, shivers from the lack of warmth in the absence of Seonghaw’s body heat.

Hongjoong stirs awake to the sound of the shower running. He’s alone, so he deducts that Seonghwa must be showering. He pulls the comforter up to his chin for warmth, as a shield from the cool air of the early morning threading to invade the heat trapped under the blankets. HE stays like that as the water turns off, the bathroom door opens, and Seonghwa comes back into the room. He’s not facing Hongjoong is secretly grateful for, because Seonghwa isn’t wearing a shirt, so Hongjoong silently traces the dips and curves of Seonghwa’s sculpted back muscles with his eyes. 

Seonghwa slips his arms through the sleeves of his uniform shirt and turns towards Hongjoong. “Oh,” he says. “You’re awake.” He starts to button up his shirt.

Hongjoong whines. “Hwa, come back, I’m cold.”

“You need to get up,” Seonghwa tells him. “We have to go to school.”

Hongjoong doesn’t look happy about it, but he gets up anyway.

… 

Hongjoong: the three best movies ever made are high school musical, the princess bride, and pirates of the caribbean, and no one can convince me otherwise.

babe<3: thats… really random

thot: also not true

thot: high school musical sucks

montaña: no one likes you wooyoung 

thot: that’s not true

thot: yeosang likes me

no filter: debatable

eardrum murderer: LMFAO

eardrum murderer: WOO GOT ROASTED

no filter: @yunho is mingis keyboard permanently on all caps

tall child: pretty sure

tall child: sometimes he texts me cute thing but they’re in all caps so it feels like hes yelling them at me

eardrum murderer: sorry :((((((((

tall child: it's ok i love you

eardrum murderer: YAY!!

thot: love you guys but please flirt somewhere else

thot: THAT GOES FOR YOU TOO HONGJOONG

Hongjoong: I feel attacked

thot: good

Hongjoong: rude

Hongjoong: I don’t flirt on the groupchat

thot: Seonghwa’s name is litetally ‘babe<3’

Hongjoong: Hwa is just a babe in general 

thot: he’s not that cute

Hongjoong: i'm not having this conversation again because youre clearly blind

Hongjoong: i just came here to spread my movie recommendations stop attacking me

montaña: Hongjoong your movie recs are valid

Hongjoong: thank you

Hongjoong: San is my bff

thot: i know hes your platonic soulmate blah bkah blah

thot: LIKING HSM ISNT A PERSONALITY TRAIT

montaña: that hurt

Hongjoong: i felt that

babe<3: … 

babe<3: wooyoung has a point tbh

Hongjoong: HWA YOURE SUPPOSED TO BE ON MY SIDE

Hongjoong: IVE BEEN BETRAYED

Hongjoong: *cries*

babe<3: i'm sitting right next to you you’re not crying 

Hongjoong looks to Seonghwa, sitting beside him on his bed. “I love you, Hwa,” he says softly. “You’re the prettiest boy I’ve ever met.”

Seonghwa smiles, his cheeks dusted pink. “I love you too.”

Hongjoong kisses him, gently at first, but it gets more passionate as it progresses, and Hongjoong thinks to himself about the crush he harboured on Seonghwa for so long, the sleepless nights he spent wondering if Seonghwa would ever love him back, and now, holding Seonghwa like this, he knows it’s where he’s meant to be. All the rough patches he went through, it all led him here. 

“What are you thinking?” Seonghwa asks softly against his lips. 

“That I can’t picture myself anywhere else,” he says. “But also, I have a chem test tomorrow.”

Seonghwa laughs. “Let's focus on that, then.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the last real chapter but there’s probably an epilogue to come so thank you everyone who read and left kudos and comments! Love you all! <3


	15. Chapter 15

“Listen,” Seonghwa starts. “I love you all, but I am not letting Song Mingi drive me 7 hours to go to cheer nationals.”

“I’m driving,” Yunho corrects. “I don’t trust Mingi with our lives either.”

“Okay, I’ll go,” Seonghwa agrees.

Mingi pouts. “I have a license,” he points out.

“You’re unpredictable,” Seonghwa tells him. “You’re a great friend, but I will not enter a car being driven by you.”

“Mean,” Mingi sats. 

“Awesome!” San says. “Yeosang and I have to go with the team , but we’ll meet you there. Yunho and Seonghwa… I can only pray your eardrums don’t burst.”

Yunho chuckles. “I’m used to it, but Seonghwa…”

“I’m worried for myself too,” Seonghwa admits. 

… 

“You got this,” Yeosang tells San, who’s freaking out in the practice area. 

“I’ve never done this without you before,” San says. “You’re the backbone of this team, Yeosang.”

“You and the rest of the team will do great San. Go out there and knock ‘em dead. I’ll be with the coach, cheering for you. A cheerleader for the cheerleaders, you might say.” He chuckles. “You’re amazing, San. I’m with you in spirit.”

San hugs him tightly. “I’m scared,” he admits. Wooyoung and Hongjoong and all them are watching… what if I mess up? What if someone else gets hurt?”

“You know this fucking routine inside and out,” Yeosang tells him firmly. He turns to the rest of the team. “Good luck everyone!”

He starts to walk over to their coach, but feels a hand on his shoulder. 

“Um… Yeosang?” A small voice says. 

He turns to see the freshman girl that dropped him that day. “I’m so sorry about what happened, and I feel so bad because you should be out there with us. I didn’t want to hurt you, but I hadn’t had a lot of experience, so I panicked.” She looks at the floor.

“It’s okay,” Yeosang tells her. “It was partially my fault, so don’t beat yourself up. I’ll be back next season.”

She smiles. “By the way,” she adds. “You and Wooyoung make a cute couple.”

…

“Second?” Hongjoong says in disbelief. “Those judges are clearly blind. They were better than the other team.”

“Calm down,” Seonghwa says. “I agree, but there's no need to get so worked up.”

“It’s because Yeosang is out,” Wooyoung says confidently. “If Yeosang hadn’t gotten injured, they would have won.”

“I just enjoyed watching,” Jongho puts in. “The score shouldn’t be so important.”

“I agree with Jongho,” Mingi says, his mouth stuffed full of popcorn. 

Yunho elbows him. “You’re just happy you got snacks,” he says, a teasing lilt in his voice. 

“I'm happy I’m with my friends,” Mingi corrects. 

“Can we go congratulate them now?” Wooyoung asks impatiently. 

“They’re having a team meeting,” Yunho says. “We can see them after.”

Seonghwa leans against Hongjoong. “Wooyoung is whipped,” he says quietly. “It’s kind of cute.”

Hongjoong grins. “Then are you going to be a cute boyfriend too and come to all of my games?”

Seonghwa pretends to think about it. “Maybe,” he says. 

“Hongjoong and Seonghwa, stop being cute and lets go get some fucking dinner,” Wooyoung says. 

Seonghwa rolls his eyes, as if to say, ‘can you believe this?’

“Come on, Hwa,” Hongjoong says, standing up. 

“We’re having dinner now?” Seonghwa asks. “But it’s past Jongho’s bedtime.”

“Quiet, Mom. Let me have some fun.”

Hongjoong cackles. He takes Seonghwa’s hand. “I love you.”

“I know,” Seonghwa says. 

Hongjoong pouts and shoves him gently. “You’re supposed to say it back, you meanie.”

“I love you, Joong,” Seonghwa says, squeezing Hongjoong’s hand.

  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much to everyone who made it to the end of this thing, I love you all <3


End file.
